Elaine zitner

Elaine zitner ICF certified leadership and life coach. I help you get unstuck and move forward with clarity and co

09/09/2026

I’ve been TERRIFIED of the kindergarten transition, today was our first hour of gradual entry and now I’m so excited but not for the reasons you might think.

Of course, I’m excited for Jules. He’s smart and loves learning. He’s a little shy at first and then comes out of his shell. I know he’ll make friends and this marks the start of him being in the world without us (as much).

What I didn’t expect was to feel excited about the possibility of me making new friends.

We’ve lived in this town for four years and have built a fairly small community. It’s lovely and standing on the tennis courts today, I realized there’s a whole new group of people for us to connect with and that feels really fun.

One of the best parts of being older parents with young kids is getting to learn from people who have already been through it. So…

Tell me everything! How did the transition go for you? your kiddo? Did you make friends? Was it easier/harder than you expected?

09/04/2026

I genuinely don’t know the answer to this one.

If getting clear on what you want + getting your spark back has a ripple effect on your family, friends, team and everyone around you…

Is talking about that meeting women where they are?

Or reinforcing the idea that doing something for yourself needs to benefit everyone else too?

👇 I really want to know what you think.

Send this to someone you think could use a nudge, I’d love to know what they think too.

✌️ez

09/01/2026

Hanging out used to look a lot different. Thanks for the visit Beck Keen

08/24/2026

I’m not a perv. You are. 😂 Plus my dad is on here. And JE’s parents too.

And even if I was, that’s not what this page is about.

This page is about getting your spark back, figuring out what’s next, and creating work that actually aligns with the life you want.

And that requires some stillness. Some quiet.

Which is HARD these days. At least for me.

I can feel the hamsters 🐹the busyness, the constant motion, my brain just keeps going. It’s a lot.

I like myself. I like being alone. And it’s been a LONG time since I’ve had a few days of solo time.

Really looking forward to the pause o lf this flower retreat if the hamsters will let me chill out.

Follow Elaine zitner if your hamsters are making it hard to hear what you actually want.

08/23/2026

If I were spending the time + money on coach training, business training, therapy or fitness, I wouldn’t think twice.

But I feel so weird doing something for pure joy?? 🤯

Does anyone else feel this?

Being away from my family, especially with a 5-year-old with a broken collarbone about to start kindergarten ……just for joy?

Seems wildly self-indulgent.

I booked this a year ago. I was still nursing, barely sleeping and desperate for some space after an insane five years of babies, moves, job changes, sick parents blah blah blah…life.

And tomorrow I leave for a flower retreat on a remote island.

No agenda.
No learning objectives.
No outcomes.

Just space to be.

And I’m SO excited.

But I also feel weird about it.

Which has me wondering why it feels so much easier to invest in myself when I can justify it as growth, learning or productivity vs this would bring me joy.

Would you feel weird about doing something just for joy? Am I alone in this weirdness feeling?

👇 What’s your version of my flower retreat?

Camping under the stars? A weekend with girlfriends? A day completely to yourself?

08/18/2026

I spent years wondering what to do with my life.

Assessments. Advice from friends…someone once told me to open a “friend shop.” Just put up a sign and let people come in, lol.

Family urging me to climb the ladder because it looked right on paper, even when it wasn’t right for me.
All of it was useful.All of it was also noise.

Turns out, the answers were inside me the whole time. I just didn’t know how to find them.

And if I’m honest, I wasn’t comfortable being still and quiet long enough to actually listen.

Here’s what actually helped:

5) I checked the importance and my energy.I figured out how much capacity I actually had for the exploration.

High importance and low energy? The first step wasn’t finding the answer. It was creating enough space to hear myself.

4) I tracked what lit me up and drained me for two weeks. No analyzing, fixing or solving. Just collecting data.

Eventually, I used that data to create roles that gave me more of what I wanted and less of what I didn’t.

3) I created a living, breathing vision. I imagined what I wanted based on what I valued, what energized me and how I wanted my life to feel.

Mine included more creativity, flexibility and time with the people I love.I didn’t worry about how I would make it happen yet.

2) I separated facts from stories.Once I had a vision, I watched my brain try to talk me out of it.

“I’d have to take a pay cut.”

“I’ve wasted too much time.”

So many believable stories and very few actual facts.

I sat with the stories and beliefs and questioned each one.

1) I stopped asking, “What should I do next?” - I asked that question for years, and it never once gave me an answer.
Instead, I asked:
How do I want to feel?
How do I want to spend my days?
Who do I want to spend them with, doing what?
What’s my role in creating that?
Those were the questions that actually moved me.

If you want the guide, comment CLARITY and I’ll send it to you.

Follow for more ways to figure out what’s next or share this with someone who’s looking for clarity but keeps asking themselves the same question 100 different ways.

I was at a rave in Tel Aviv (where I lived) 30 years ago with no cell phone, calling my parents collect periodically to ...
08/12/2026

I was at a rave in Tel Aviv (where I lived) 30 years ago with no cell phone, calling my parents collect periodically to let them know I was alive. Meeting randoms and working at a hostel.

Now I’m hiding in a hotel bathroom eating a sandwich so I don’t wake up my kids and can get a moment of silence.

Aging is weird.

Some people do all the things to fight it.

Others lean all the way in.

Mostly I’m just like… wtf happened?

I’ve had a whole life. A career. Adventures. Kids. So many different versions of myself.

And somehow I’m still 19.

And also an old lady.

At the exact same time.

It’s weird, no? 😂

✌️ EZ

08/11/2026

I zoooomwd out.

Way out into the life I wanted. I

I made that more exciting than the fears of change.

It took a while for the pieces of the puzzle to click and to work on all the “stuff” that came up in the process (stay tuned for part 3)

And I’m so glad I did.

Check out part 1- what I thought would help but didn’t and come hang out if you want more on the messy middle.

✌️ ez

If you want a deeper dive on these questions and the process comment “CLARITY” and I’ll send you a free guide. And if you want to do this together, comment “NEXT” and I’ll send you the waitlist for the next live What’s Next Immersion.

08/06/2026

To be clear, I brush my teeth and do other potty related activities solo, well when my kids aren’t banging on the door.

So no, “how you do one thing is not necessarily how you do everything”.

But when it comes to figuring out what’s next, there is something useful to learn from noticing how you already move through the world.

When I go to the gym alone and mostly flitter around, change the music and eventually decide I’ve probably done enough.

Put me in a class with structure, other people and someone guiding the process? I’m fully in…..Thanks LIFT by AnnieFit for being my place in Nanaimo 💪🏋️‍♀️

For a long time, I thought I should be better at doing things on my own. More disciplined, more solo follow through.

Now, in my late 40s, I’m much more interested in noticing what actually works for me and building around that.

Knowing how you work best is part of the equation, it can save you a lot of time trying to force yourself to figure things out in a way that doesn’t work for you.

If you’re someone who can read a book and implement what you learn, great. Do that.

If you love a workbook and will actually work through it, great. Do that.

If you know you’ll read the book, fill in three pages of the workbook and then never do the thing?

Great. Know that too.

Maybe you need structure. Maybe you need accountability. Maybe you need to think out loud with other people before you can hear what you actually think.

Figuring out what’s next isn’t only about finding the answer.

It’s also about understanding the conditions that help you get clear and actually follow through.

What do you know about how you work best? Are you solo? DIY? 1:1? Mix??

If you’re a guide person, comment CLARITY and I’ll send you the steps to career clarity.

And if you’re still working out what kind of support helps you get clear and actually follow through, follow along. That’s what we talk about here.

✌️ez

07/31/2026

Say it sooner. Or at least let your inner Jerry Springer say it first.

One of the tools I use in coaching is what I jokingly call the Jerry Springer Method.

For 2–3 minutes, you get to say the things you’d never actually say in the meeting.

No censoring. No fixing. No trying to be the bigger person.

Tough conversations usually aren’t hard because of the conversation itself.

They’re hard because of everything that’s happening before the conversation.

We make up stories about what they’ll say.
We predict how they’ll react.
We convince ourselves we know how it will end.

We become fortune tellers.

Once that part has had its say, something shifts.

You stop leading with assumptions and start leading with curiosity.

That’s where stronger relationships are built. Better conversations happen. Trust grows. And leadership becomes a whole lot easier.

This is where the magic happens.

The employee who’s quietly checked out might reconnect to purpose.

The person with great ideas might finally speak up.

You might finally have the conversation you’ve been avoiding and leave with more space, understanding and freedom in your body instead of carrying it around for days.

And your family will probably thank you too… because they’re tired of hearing about how Terry was in the meeting. 😂

If you’ve been avoiding a conversation, overthinking one, or replaying it in your head, I made a guide to help.

Comment “say it sooner” and I’ll send it to you.

And send this to someone who could use a little help having a difficult conversation

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