11/06/2024
CONFLICTED MINDS OF LOVE
Pardon me...but the psycho-analyst part of me has been put on edge trying to figure out a couple of things that give meaning to perceptions and interpret the inexplicable. Cutting off the psycho-analytical jumbo mumbo let me cut to the born...
In 99% of cases, after people have gone through some failed or unpleasant relationship experience they become philosophical, often disguised as wisdom and council for others, but in reality, they are actually trying to untangle the conundrum of their confused state of mind, advice themselves and make sense of their own circumstances. They are trying to warn themselves never to fall into or become victims again. More like keeping themselves on alert and on their toes.
This is then reinforced by an exaggerated sense of self-love. This is nothing short of putting up a bold face that says, “If I love myself why can't you love me too”. Or in some extreme cases, it says, “Are you too blind to see that I'm lovable, I have all the good qualities you are looking for...The highest bidder please be bold enough to step forward”. Note, ...Please...be bold enough...a word and a phrase that contradict themselves. Begging and indicting at the same time.
Then comes the defensive. ...I'm intelligent. This comes from a fractured feeling of fear of being taken for granted, inadequate, intimidated, or even overwhelmed. Like saying I'm smart too...so don't try to do any smart thing. What a contradiction again, seeing being smart with suspicion but not ready to accommodate not-so-smart people or those who won't let you know how smart they really are, or are just being plain ordinary human.
My readings and studies make me very curious about conflicted minds, and the above is certainly one. Not want to sound judgemental, but the denials beclouding this conflict are the primary cause for worry and not the conflict itself. After all, we are all conflicted but to different degrees.
Desires.
The one obvious thing is the fact that the desire for a loving meaningful relationship is uppermost in your mind. Now, that is putting it mildly. It is actually transcending to an obsession. However, the persisting state of mind often lacks clarity of thought and action. Self-righteousness is never and will never be a principle of healthy living. No one can ever wield the rules that all must fall for and follow.
DON'T MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON: Challenging the Common Assumptions About Finding the Perfect Partner for Marriage.
