06/09/2024
Eversince I watched Friday's episode of Noor Jahan, something pierced my heart really bad.
There erupted a volcano of emotions and bittersweet memories inside me and I wanted to bring it into words.
The right words.
The words through personal experience.
Experience of being the eldest daughter and having two younger sisters.
Experience of having no brother.
Experience of sympathetic eyes.
Experience of pitiful remarks.
Experience of apologetic tones.
Experience of hushed talks.
When every single person in this male dominant society becomes a Noor Jahan and makes you feel less worthy, less opportunist, and less notable, you need a Hunaid and Safina to shut their mouths.
That Hunaid is my abbu.
That Safina is my ammi.
Never in 32 years of my life did I see them crave for a son.
Never did I hear them say "Kash ek baita bhi hota."
Never did they taunt us.
Never did they make us feel less praised.
They celebrated all three births of their daughters and thanked Allah each time for a healthy baby.
They celebrated their grand daughters' births with even more grandeur and keenness.
Just like Safina's parents.
Few days ago, at lunch, abbu was discussing an incident about the son who killed his father and even hired people to commit the crime just because he wasn't allowing to marry the girl of his choice.
Abbu said,
"یہ وہی بیٹا ہے جس کے پیدا ہونے پہ اس کے باپ نے مٹھائیاں بانٹی ہونگی کہ میرے گھر بیٹا ہوا ہے۔ آج اسی بیٹے نے باپ کے قتل کا سامان کیا۔
میرے ہاتھ میں رزق ہے۔ میں نے کبھی صرف بیٹے کی دعا نہیں کی۔ کبھی اللہ سے شکوہ نہیں کیا۔ میں بہت خوش ہوں کہ اللہ نے مجھے بیٹیاں دیں۔ وہ جو کہتے ہیں بیٹے بڑھاپے کا سہارا ہوتے ہیں، غلط کہتے ہیں۔ یہ بیٹیاں ہی ہوتی ہیں جو آخری وقت تک ماں باپ کا ساتھ نہیں چھوڑتیں۔
That day, Abbu's content face spoke volumes of what he felt all along the years, of which I was unsure because we never had the talk.
Talk about him not having a son.
That day I realized that daughters should be born to only such parents.
The ones who are like my parents.
Parents like Hunaid and Safina.
Because we brotherless daughters don't just need ordinary parents.
We need strong, affectionate and content parents who can become our pillar of support against all Noor Jahans of the society by never letting their daughters down and showing our worth to the entire world.
This post is an applaud to all such parents. To all the Hunaids and Safinas.
❤️