28/05/2026
While everyone is debating Singapore’s total fertility rate and arguing about who should represent committees looking into this issue… I found myself thinking about my personal struggles of motherhood that maybe not many would be willing to talk about.
So I decided to start this series — Mummy's Diary..
A small diary of the things I struggled with after becoming a mum. Maybe through sharing these reflections, another mum out there might feel a little less alone too but most importantly, hope my girls one day realise that I am trying my best, that they can learn from mistakes I have done and love themselves.
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Dear girls....
I remember being wheeled out from the labour ward, exhausted, emotional, overwhelmed… and the first thing I did was google:
“How to be a mum.”
Not “How am I feeling?”
Not “How do I recover?”
Just how to become what everyone suddenly needed me to be.
Not because I didn’t love you.
But because somewhere between visitors, feeding schedules and everyone asking about the baby… I suddenly didn’t know who I was anymore.
It hit me hard then. Okay… now I have a baby. Then what? Everyone celebrated a new life. But quietly, another version of me disappeared too.
As new mums, your identity changes overnight.
People stop asking how you are coping and start asking about the baby instead.
Your body no longer feels like yours.
Your time no longer feels like yours.
Even your thoughts revolve around someone else.
Somewhere along the way, my name became “mummy.”
My needs became secondary.
And every conversation started revolving around both of you instead of me.
But girls, if there is one thing I hope you remember from my journey someday — please do not be afraid to ask for help. You do not have to prove your strength by carrying everything alone. Motherhood was never meant to be survived in silence. There is no shame in saying, “I need support.”
Please never misunderstand this someday when you grow older — I have never regretted loving you. Maybe one day, if you ever become mothers too, I hope you remember: The hardest part of becoming a mum wasn’t learning how to care for you — it was trying not to lose myself while doing it.
