26/02/2022
🤗 💋 Story 4 - 𝙍𝙤𝙤𝙩 𝙊𝙛 𝙀𝙫𝙞𝙡 : 𝘾𝙤𝙥𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜
Most of us will probably encounter this situation, earlier or later. The situation of our child copying answers.
Straight away, our adult minds & experience collated all the words relating to copying - cheating, dishonesty, non-integrity, laziness, irresponsibility, & so on.
Instantly, we started fortune-telling - cheating parents, Teachers & friends, lying about anything & everything to anyone & everyone, lost of credibility, refusal to work hard & put in effort, only wants to take the easy way out & the list continues.
We are griped with fear & panic. No! Our child in all his/ her innocence, cannot be copying! When, why, how did the child learn to copy?! How to help our child?
I’ve been there when my little one was 5 years old. Yes, that young.
My immediate reaction was as normal as any parent will be. To sternly tell the child that it is wrong to copy & my child looked positively remorseful. Convinced that she understood the rationale of honesty, I relaxed abit. The next minute to my astonishment & my steam was still on high, my little one has started happily playing & acting cute to the me. “𝓞𝓱 𝓶𝔂 𝓰𝓸𝓭, 𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝓽𝓪𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝓽 𝓪𝓵𝓵? 𝓓𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓭𝓷’𝓽 𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓘 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓪𝓲𝓭?”
After while, realisation reached me & this was what I told myself & my child
1. 𝗧𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱, 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 & 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴. To her, she got a question she couldn’t answer & mama wasn’t around. The answer sheet was conveniently present & why not? She just needed the answer only.
At her age, in her innocence, she doesn’t know the process of learning is very important too.
2. 𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. My child doesn’t blindly do her work. She knows that there’s something that she can use to get to the destination easier & she made use of it.
She is using her intelligence but she needs guidance onto the right way. That’s why I’m here.
3. I told her 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝘂𝘀𝗲. And I told her the story of the boy who cried wolf. She asked a few questions & understood the morale of the story
4. 𝗠𝗮𝗺𝗮 𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂. I told her that she can make mistakes in her assessment. Mama will correct it together with her. She can do not know how to answer a question. Just put a question mark. Mama will go through with her. But no copying & no lying. Her eyes lit up at being able to do assessments together with me.
5. When she started acting cute shortly after the scolding, I was even more pi**ed.
Then I looked closely & 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗴𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗺𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗯𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗺𝗮 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲.
I chose not to remove the answer sheets Although I know it can be temptation to do wrong. But she needs to train her will, besides her academic. The will to resist temptation.
It’s not a one day thing. That’s why they are still growing up & not grown up. Give them time. Give us patience. Give all love.
Some may ask, how do I know that she has been honest? When I marked her assessments after that incident, there were some with mistakes & there were questions with question marks.
