10/29/2025
My first true love turns 13 tomorrow.
I am losing my emotional s**t tonight. I have a habit of posting sappy birthday posts for them throughout the years. Some years hit me harder than others…. This year is kicking my ass.
My first baby, is closer to being a man than he is to being a boy. I miss him. I miss him small and smiley and needing me for everything. I miss him holding my hand and the rocking to sleep and bedtime stories. I miss the Mispronounced words and silly attempts at jokes. I miss the million questions and non stop chatter. I miss toys and cars and playing at parks… picnics and learning to do everything for the first time. Kitchen dance parties and crawling into our bed in the middle of the night. I miss him…..
His perfect face changed me forever…he started my story. He gave me a purpose and I carry that in every inch of my soul. He made me the only thing I ever really wanted to be in life. “Mom” is the most important title I will ever hold. The amount of Tears I have cried in the last few days looking back at pictures of him and us is embarrassing. I still can feel every feeling, I can hear his laugh, and remember the moments so clearly. It is impossible to put into words how consuming the love we have for our children is. I would give anything to go back and do it all one more time. Maybe I would be a little better, a little slower, have more patience, more confidence, less worry. But if I changed any of it… he wouldn’t be who he is. And my God, am I proud as hell of who he is. Whether it is because of me or in spite of me he is one of the best people I know. He is the best parts of us and I am so proud to be his mom.
The kitchen dance parties may have been replaced with obnoxious rap on the way to practice, and silly jokes have been replaced with mildly inappropriate ones. The toy cars have been replaced with dirt bikes and 4 wheelers and picnics replaced with lunch dates after games. I wouldn’t trade this time for anything. I am so happy I get to have a front row seat to all of it.but I miss my baby!
Hoppy birthday D. I love you