04/16/2025
i looked back to day one for a minute and then i ugly cried.
i am sorry that i canāt answer the question, āwhatās next?ā but i just need to heal. heal my mental health, yes. but also heal my broken heart. heal from the things i donāt share on this platform. i wish i couldāve been / could be more of an open book about the pain my heart has been through but iām not that girl. iām not the girl to throw other girls under the bus even if they deserve it.
the amount of āfriendsā iāve lost during my āi own a boutiqueā era is wild. i put friends in quotations because kev pointed out recently that friend isnāt a word that needs an adjective in front of it. you shouldnāt have to say āsheās a good friendā because ALL friends should by definition be good. i think iām figuring out that iāve had a lot of coworkers, a lot of acquaintances, a lot of people i know that are in the same industry. and that i thought a lot of these people were my friends. and not just friend, but forever friend. hence, the constant heart break and disappointment. the way people just stop responding, stop reaching out, unfollow or block me on all social media accounts, or in one case never show up for dinner and just leave me waiting because someone cooler payed attention to you in vegas (that was maybe too specific but iām getting fired up haha).
the norm seems to be they just donāt NEED me anymore so they just move on without me. i provide no more value in the form of money, creativity or even unconditional love and friendship. iām replaced by someone or something else.
i will be in therapy for yearssssssss to heal this part of me.
iām sharing now because i think you need to know that this business failed BECAUSE of the fact that it was truly about so much more than clothes to me. and that made me breakable. the thing that set me apart in the beginning broke me in the end. and i need, i deserve to heal from that before i consider starting again.
ā¦.finished in the comments and stories.
