11/15/2019
So. Much. This. Educate yourself. Advocate or hire someone that will advocate for you. I was diagnosed with PTSD after my second son’s traumatic emergency c-section and so many people didn’t understand or get it, and that was in 2005.
I recently walked into a birth room for a where on the board of patient information, under the word “goal” the nurse had written the words “healthy mom, healthy baby”. I immediately shook off the automatic sad reaction I had and got to work (mama rocked her VBAC btw). Since then I have been reflecting a lot on why my reaction was so negative to such a seemingly positive message. Here is what I have discovered...
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Today our society has turned the focus away from birth being a happy and life impacting event and put the focus on keeping the baby alive first, keeping the mom alive second, and then maybe, just maybe, the parents desire for HOW they birth and the impact on their overall physical AND mental health with be considered.
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The statement alone is so obvious that it shouldn’t even need to be said. Of course a parents first priority is the safety of their baby. Putting the whole focus on keeping baby and mom alive completely discredits the birth experience itself. How a family is treated while they labor is SO important. Birth trauma is real. P.T.S.D. caused by events that happened to a parent (birth partners included) at birth is real. In fact, approximately 40% of women will describe their births as traumatic. FORTY PERCENT! That number alone tells us that parents are not being respected or heard during their births and they are not coming out of it "healthy”.
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We need to put the power back in the parents! We need to advocate for change and stand up for ourselves in the birth room. We need to become more educated and informed about the normal, physiological birth process. We NEED to respect patients rights to say no and drive their own care. The system is broken. It needs to be fixed and it starts one parent at a time.
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When you hear a parent telling you that their birth experience was difficult or traumatic, please, I beg you, do NOT say anything about gratitude for a healthy baby. Instead, tell them “I’m here for you” and then just listen, love them, hear them, and don’t justify a thing.
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What are your thoughts on this statement? Do you agree with my thoughts? Why/why not? What was helpful for you as you processed through a difficult birth?
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Read more about birth trauma and healing from it on our blog: https://www.thevbaclink.com/post/how-to-heal-from-birth-trauma