Milk Machine Vintage

09/20/2026

08/02/2026

I’m kicking around the idea of Christmas card-inspired sweaters and shirts. The catch, you pick the parts, I sew them on-site at the market for a set price. There are AMAZING artists making on-site patches and repairs already. This would be holiday only and I’d change my name for 2-months to Sweater Machine by Milk Machine Vintage. Should we do it? I promise the patches will only get cooler!

07/16/2026

Do you ever try to track down random family members from another state to give them back their 1988 family reunion t-shirt while your kids scream at you about how much you embarrass them? Just me?

I really would like to give this vintage tee back to a member of the Fischer family from Dorchester, SC. If you can prove that you are one of them, DM me.

04/23/2026

One time, I said something in a fight I can’t seem to take back. 😬 so I made shirt about it. lol (phrase stolen from a pillow I saw a year ago, FYI. I was just thinking about it today.)

Visit me at ’s Pyrex Fest in on Saturday! I’ll tell you more of the dumb things I’ve said.


Did you get married to clean?

04/10/2026

Here’s 1/300th of what you’ll see in our booth on Sunday Clover Market ® in Chestnut Hill PA .

04/04/2026

I’m Jedi mind-tricking you into not noticing all of the crap everywhere whole also being a millennial woman and pointing out all of the flaws so we can just get that out of the way.
See what it becomes on Sunday, April12th in .

04/02/2026

Were you ever so desperate for a compliment that it changed your whole life when you go it? I really wish they had told me I was a cryptid instead of a creative. It would have been way cheaper to live in the woods than start a business. Come see my “creativity “, cryptids, and vintage on April 12.

03/31/2026

I really want to start a church but my township said I needed more parking. Anything to stop paying taxes.

Come to my camp? Or cult?

03/22/2026

Old table runner, meet new top. Shed look great with a pair of cut-offs and some cowboy boots.

09/06/2025

Quote the raven, nevermore…

Coming to tomorrow if I finish it in time.