05/24/2026
I’ve been sewing for a few years now. It’s been an incredible experience and I’m continuing to learn every day. I learn about fabrics, I learn about methods, fitting, styles and even just basic creativity.
But, that’s not the important stuff. I’m learning about people, I’m learning about myself. When one is engaged in something that truly resonates with them , that thing becomes a spiritual experience. It becomes a way to connect with that part of ourselves that isn’t our body. It has also become an interesting reflection on my own motivations, what fuels me, what keeps me, not only sane, but truly content.
I enjoy making things for others but what I’ve discovered is I struggle with the commitment to making bespoke garments. On the one hand it’s quite rewarding, on the other hand it seems to interfere with my creativity at times. I’m not sure why but it does. And to be honest, there’s a little guilt attached to it that I’m working through. No I don’t need to always do things for people simply because they want it or showed some vague interest. What I need is to have some inspiration and sometimes the inspiration only comes when I’m just making something for no specific person. On the other hand, sometimes I get a project in my head that I see on a specific person and I simply can’t do anything else until I do that! Right now, for example, all I want to do is make a Victorian night gown. Maybe even completely by hand. So, here I am searching for patterns, ideas and fabrics… and in the back of my head I think, I Should make this or I Should make that. But in reality this has become more of a reflection of my own intentions, my own motivations and my ability to have a true integrity to? With? Myself. I also want to make a certain little girl a spectacular flower dress… that idea is still swimming around in my brain trying to find its time to act.
I’m autistic, it’s been a years long journey of understanding this. There has been a great deal of denial and soul searching. There’s been reflection of my life, my mind, and a huge amount of research to understand what exactly autism is! It’s a spectrum. I had to first understand what that even meant! People may think, “ you’re not autistic! “ but yes, this time, the doctor was right and coming to this realization with some understanding has helped me comprehend so many things.
This includes my “ obsessions” such as why I learned everything I could about potatoes ; how they grown, where they grow … everything! And now.. sewing. Apparently they call this a “ special interest” and I’ve had several over my life time. For the longest time it was genealogy. Now, it’s sewing and I cannot force it. I also can’t stop sometimes.
If you are curious about autism and why so many are being diagnosed now compared to… before… there are many videos, books, documentaries and even video shorts that help to explain this. Before completely dismissing it in yourself or others, do everyone a favor and educate yourself. It’s always better to understand than to simply make a quick dismissive decision.
