04/22/2023
Since I got shot I been trying to regain my sanity mostly because I been on this yo-yo and the man I married to that I held with such regard could possibly be the reason I was shots discovered the whole time he was living a lie the life I wanted with him was a lie he never gave a damn about me it’s too much to get into the whole time I lay next to him he could of possibly killed me and the fu**ed up part of it all he used to tell me all the time he would I do t even know how to feel but I won’t let this break me I feel like such a fool what kind of monster is he like the pain I feel inside I feel to my core!,,,I want to overcome this because I have never been but what I said I was to him and I won’t let him tear me down anymore than he already did!’!!… why does life have to be so cruel I will find love again I will take realist me to the heights that I said I would and I will buy the house with the pool!and I will drive the civic I wThis is not some made for tv movie this is my life this is me picking myself like I’ve never done before!!!..I was having a hard time before I knew what I know now!….I will have all the things I wanted I don’t need a man to validate me I know I’m a good person with morals and standards I’m not a saint and I never claimed to be, how can a man or anyone look you in the face and for 9 years act holier than though then come to find out all the things that made me cry was I don’t even know I can’t comprehend how the f**k you pick someone out to live a lie with??!!!!!and his family and the times we split up and been apart I was a joke at their dinner table?!!…what kind of people are they I’m not bitter I get that he didn’t have to fill me in on all his life people do stuff they rather not talk about this man is a criminal how you didn’t say anything? About anything we couldn’t go on vacations or do stuff everything about they way he did everything explains everything but this ain’t about him anymore this is about me preserving I had things I wanted to do for us and he wanted me dead for the insurance!….this is where he had me fu**ed up and this is where you can keep the bi***es that you pay to suck your dick and look at all day and night because Thts the kind of girls you want because you like the taste of all the men besides you they f**k your mom should be proud!
