Dolce & Banana

01/02/2021

19/12/2018

So branded fruit is actually a thing now

18/10/2017

SERIOUS POST:
ITS JUST TOO HARD. WE ARE MAKING NOT MAKING ENOUGH SALES AND WILL BE CLOSING DOWN THE BUSINESS.

Like many small businesses, we started with a dream of making unreasonable profit margins with minimal effort - nobody had tried writing a brand name on regular bananas and selling them for 20x the normal price, but we were brave enough to try.

Thank you to everyone who has supported us along the way, but not you Australian Bananas because you did nothing, nothing at all. All i wanted was a lousy letter or a call, I hope you know I ripped all your posters off the wall -we coulda been together, think about it, you ruined it now!!

Barnaby Joyce if you really care about rural Queenslanders you do something about the "big banana" fat cats that wont even give a shout out for the hard working banana battlers trying to make it in the luxury fruit game.

We will be closing down this business and relaunching an exciting new product that will hopefully help us fulfil our dream of making unreasonable profits with minimal effort.

22/09/2017

This is old benny bananasmith.

Benny Bananasmith isnt worried about amazon.
Benny Bananasmith isnt worried about fad fruit trends.

He doesn't have fancy things like an email address or basic safety equipment legally required to do his job, But old Benny "one thumb" Bananasmith isnt worried.

The only thing Old Benny here is worried about is making the finest bananas available anywhere in the world.
When you buy a luxury banana from you're helping old codgers like Benny keep a true craft alive. And be honest, these bananas are too good for you so whatever we charge you're getting a good deal.

If you want to buy your bananas from a giant cardboard pallet parked in the middle of the floor at Aldi, like some disgusting "half pig half human" guzzling your bananas from a trough, you're free to do that.

But when you're sliding that banana down your throat in one go without chewing, I hope you're thinking about Old Benny Bananasmith.

22/09/2017

Whos pumped for summer banana season?

23/02/2017

Stop eating regular bananas like a common ape, you filthy commoners. BUY LUXURY BANANAS AND BECOME THE 1%

21/02/2017

Did you miss out this valentines last week?

It's not too late to have something thick, solid, shiny, smooth and long that will last all night.

Desired by many but only ever experienced by a few - the exciting sensation of a holding a luxury banana in your hand with the anticipation of the creamy goodness inside will truly delight all your senses and ignite any evening.

Only seven available, prices starting from only $90

30/01/2017

We are getting a lot of enquiries - please remember that this is an elite product for people better than you, but please continue to like this page and you may be given an invitation to purchase our exclusive $120 bananas.