11/24/2019
It is human nature to want to be loved and accepted. Most people are capable of loving and being loved. Even if a relationship doesn't work out, there's usually some level of emotion there. At the very least the recognition that at one point you were in love. When you have a relationship with a person who is narcissistic/sociopath it is extremely shocking to comprehend how quickly they can turn off their "feelings"
It will rock you to your soul, and have you questioning everything that you ever thought to be true.
I remember during my divorce I kept thinking "Who is this person? How come he is being so evil?" Suddenly it was clear that this person I had loved so much for so long absolutely hated me. HATED me. Despised the ground I walk on. Wants me dead.
This realization has left me heartbroken. Not because I want him back. But because his hatred of me, destroys all of the love, and memories of 17 yrs. A lifetime of memories of our family. Our children, the children I thought we created out of our love. And now he wants nothing to do with our children. Because of his hatred of me?
Actually it is because of him. He is a broken and damaged soul who is not capable of love. And that breaks my heart for me, our children.