11/01/2025
Day 31 of 31: share your reflections on participating in PAIL month as a TFMR parent.
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October 31st was Orion's due date, which adds layers to being part of PAIL month as a TFMR parent. while there is a space that can feel comforting, there's also a sense of isolation all at once. our kind of loss often carries silence, judgment, or misunderstanding. yet it comes from the same place of love and heartbreak as any other. i've realised that while i live in a country where we have can make decisions for our families, not everyone does. this month, i stand for every parent who had to make, or will make, the hardest decision out of love — always 🤍
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The Car Ferry at Sidney, BC (1000-piece puzzle)
i started it alone but i couldn’t even make it through the first day without missing my son.
the next day, my husband joined me. what started as just a puzzle became something so much more.
we laughed, cried, bonded.
we realized halfway through that there was a piece missing, and in the end, we finished with one still gone.
and maybe that’s the irony of it all...that we’ll always have a missing piece in our family physically, but never truly gone.
it's as if Orion is always around us finding ways to bring us closer to each other 🤍🧩
• the story behind the puzzle •
when Orion passed away in July of 2024, i wanted to hold a small ceremony to celebrate him. while looking for things to include, my husband and i stopped by a thrift shop a week after he died. i didn't really believe in the spiritual realm but in my mind, i kept asking my son to give me a sign that he's around me.
i was drawn to the puzzle section and so i scanned the shelves. i really didn't know what i was looking for but tucked between other boxes was a 1000-piece puzzle called “The Car Ferry at Sidney, BC.” the significance of that hit me instantly. when we followed Orion to the crematorium, we had to take a ferry just as he did. our first stop on the island was a diner in Sidney, BC. so when i saw the puzzle, the emotions came rushing in. maybe he really was with me.
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