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Bay Branded Merch, 34 Sea Street, Herne Bay (2026)

17/06/2026

FULL TIME: ENGLAND 4-2 CROATIA 🦆

England's World Cup campaign got off to a winning start in a match that had everything.

Goals. Drama.

Goalkeeping miracles.

And Harry Kane missing a penalty before scoring it anyway.

The Three Lions Ducks thought they had the perfect start when Kane stepped up from the spot. His first effort was saved, sending England fans into full "here we go again" mode.

Fortunately, the referee spotted an infringement and ordered a retake.

Kane wasn't making the same mistake twice.

The England captain buried the second attempt and normal service was resumed.

Croatia equalised.

Then came one of the goals of the game.

Declan Rice delivered a cross so precise it could have been sent by Royal Mail Special Delivery, and Kane rose like a salmon in a suit to power home a towering header.

Croatia refused to fold though and somehow the sides went into half-time level at 2-2.

Three minutes after the restart, Jude Bellingham decided enough was enough.

The England midfielder fired home to make it 3-2 and put the Three Lions back in control.

What followed was the Croatian goalkeeper show.

Save after save after save.

At times it looked as though he was playing with eight arms.

England should have had six, seven or possibly eight goals, but Croatia's keeper was determined to audition for sainthood.

Eventually even he couldn't stop Marcus Rashford.

Thrown on late as a substitute, Rashford struck with five minutes plus injury time remaining to finally put the game beyond doubt.

🧤 Pope's Favourite Award: Croatia's goalkeeper, who made more saves than the Vatican.

🦁 Three Lions Award: England's attack, which created chances for fun.

🎯 Delivery of the Day Award: Declan Rice for the pinpoint cross that set up Kane's header.

🚀 Lift-Off Award: Jude Bellingham, whose early second-half strike swung the match decisively England's way.

⚡ Super Sub Award: Marcus Rashford, who arrived late and finished the job.

😅 England Fan Award: Experiencing panic at 2-2, relief at 3-2 and joy at 4-2, all in the space of ninety minutes.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 9.5/10. Six goals, controversy, world-class saves and enough drama to keep every duck glued to the pond.

England take three points.

Croatia earn respect.

Their goalkeeper earns a place in the World Cup Duck Hall of Fame.

17/06/2026

🦆FULL TIME: PORTUGAL 1-1 DR CONGO 🦆

The Portuguese ducks thought they were cruising after just six minutes.

The Congolese ducks had other ideas.

Portugal struck early through Neves, whose sixth-minute finish appeared to set the Europeans on course for a comfortable evening. The Portuguese flock dominated possession, moved the ball beautifully and looked ready to sail off into the sunset with three points.

But football, and ducks, rarely read the script.

As first-half stoppage time approached, DR Congo launched one final attack before the break.

Up stepped Yoane Wissa.

The Brentford star duck swooped in to level the scores and send the Congolese supporters into absolute delirium.

From that moment on, the match became a battle.

Portugal pushed.

DR Congo resisted.

DR Congo probed.

Portugal stood firm.

And by the final whistle, the underdogs had earned a deserved point against one of the tournament favourites.

🐝 Brentford Buzz Award: Yoane Wissa, whose stoppage-time equaliser changed the entire complexion of the game.

⏰ Last Quack of the Half Award: Wissa's goal, arriving at precisely the moment Portugal least wanted it.

🧭 Navigator Award: Neves, whose early strike gave Portugal the perfect start.

🦆 Never Say Dive Award: DR Congo, who refused to be rattled by conceding after just six minutes.

🤝 Fair Quack Award: Portugal had the possession, DR Congo had the resilience. A draw felt about right.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8/10. An early goal, a late first-half equaliser and a proper World Cup scrap thereafter.

Portugal will feel they've left two points floating in the pond.

DR Congo will feel they've earned every feather of theirs.

17/06/2026

🦆 FULL TIME: AUSTRIA 3-1 JORDAN 🦆

Austria opened their World Cup campaign with a convincing 3-1 victory over Jordan in a match that was occasionally as unpredictable as a Katie Price autobiography.

The Austrian ducks looked sharp from the start, moving the ball beautifully and creating chances with the sort of precision you'd expect from a nation that gave the world Mozart.

Jordan refused to be overawed and battled bravely throughout. Even when Austria pulled clear, the Jordanian ducks kept pushing forward and were rewarded with a goal of their own.

For long periods this was an entertaining contest, with Jordan asking questions and Austria usually finding the answers.

By the final whistle, Austria had three goals, three points and a healthy boost to their goal difference.

🎼 Mozart Award: Austria, whose attacking play was music to their supporters' ears.

🦆 Never Say Dive Award: Jordan, who kept fighting regardless of the scoreline.

📚 Katie Price Award: This match had more twists than a celebrity relationship timeline.

⛰️ Alpine Eagle Award: Austria, who soared to the top of Group J.

😅 Reality Check Award: Jordan, who discovered that World Cup football can be tougher than a Katie Price driving test.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 7.5/10. Four goals, plenty of action and a solid opening win for Austria.

Austria march on with three points.

Jordan leave with plenty of spirit but no reward.

And somewhere, Katie Price is probably wondering how she ended up in a World Cup Duck match report.

17/06/2026

🦆FULL TIME: ARGENTINA 3-0 ALGERIA 🦆

Some ducks retire.

Some ducks slow down.

Lionel Messi apparently didn't get the memo.

The Argentine legend rolled back the years with a sensational hat-trick as Messi-tina cruised to a 3-0 victory over Algeria and laid down a serious marker for the rest of the tournament.

Algeria worked hard, battled bravely and never stopped believing, but they ran into a duck who seemed determined to remind the world that class is permanent.

Messi's first showcased his trademark composure.

His second demonstrated his footballing genius.

His third completed a hat-trick that had opposition defenders considering early retirement and autograph requests simultaneously.

By the final whistle, the crowd were on their feet, the Argentine ducks were celebrating and Messi was probably wondering what all the fuss was about.

🐐 GOAT Award: Lionel Messi. Three goals. One footballing masterpiece.

🎩 Hat-Trick Award: Also Lionel Messi. Obviously.

🧉 Mate Master Award: Argentina, who built the perfect platform for their superstar to shine.

🦆 Desert Warrior Award: Algeria, who kept battling despite facing one of football's greatest-ever ducks.

📖 Time Machine Award: Messi, for making everyone think it was 2022 again.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 9/10. A hat-trick from the GOAT always deserves extra points.

Argentina take three points.

Algeria take home a story.

And Lionel Messi takes home the match ball.

Again.

17/06/2026

🦆 FULL TIME: IRAQ 1-4 NORWAY 🦆

Be humble? Erling Haaland clearly misunderstood the assignment.

Norway's Viking Ducks powered to a 4-1 victory over Iraq, with Haaland helping himself to two goals and enough headlines to fill a fjord.

One of those goals may be the easiest of his entire career.

A catastrophic goalkeeper duck-up gifted Haaland an open goal that even a blindfolded rubber duck would probably have converted. To his credit, he still put it away. To the goalkeeper's credit... well, let's move on.

Iraq deserve enormous credit for refusing to surrender. Even at 4-1 down they continued attacking and nearly produced what might have been the goal of the tournament.

A spectacular effort flew towards the top corner, deceiving commentators, viewers and approximately several billion ducks around the world.

For a split second, everyone thought it was in.

Instead, it scraped the woodwork and flew wide.

It missed by roughly the same distance as Haaland's car when pulling into a parking space outside a "Be Humble" masterclass.

⚔️ Viking Award: Norway, who looked dangerous every time they attacked.

🦆 Gift-Wrapped Goal Award: Haaland's second, courtesy of an unforgettable goalkeeper howler.

😱 Optical Illusion Award: Iraq's late wonder strike that fooled absolutely everybody.

🦁 Lionheart Award: Iraq, who kept fighting until the very end.

😇 Be Humble Award: Erling Haaland, who scored twice and almost certainly reminded everyone about it.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8.5/10. Goals, comedy, drama and a near-miss that will be talked about long after the tournament ends.

Norway take three points and move into contention.

Iraq leave empty-handed but very nearly with the goal of the World Cup.

16/06/2026

🦆🇫🇷 FULL TIME: FRANCE 3-1 SENEGAL 🇸🇳🦆

Don’t worry. Be Mbappé.

The French ducks got their World Cup campaign off to a winning start, but Senegal made them work much harder than the final scoreline suggests.

The Lions of Teranga roared into the contest and for long periods matched France stride for stride. The Senegalese ducks showed exactly why nobody wanted to draw them, bringing energy, pace and enough attacking threat to keep the French defence looking over its shoulder.

But when you’ve got Kylian Mbappé in your flock, you’re never far from trouble.

Every time Senegal threatened to make life uncomfortable, France seemed to find another gear. The French ducks attacked with style, confidence and just a hint of Parisian swagger.

By the end, the former world champions had three goals, three points and another reminder that they remain one of the teams to beat.

🥖 Baguette Award: France, who looked most dangerous when moving forward at full speed.

🚄 TGV Award: Kylian Mbappé, who remains faster than most ducks can think.

🦁 Lionheart Award: Senegal, who battled bravely and never stopped believing.

🧅 Onion Necklace Award: France, for delivering a very French performance from start to finish.

😎 Don’t Worry, Be Mbappé Award: The French superstar, who once again proved why defenders lose sleep before facing him.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8/10. An entertaining contest between two talented sides, eventually settled by French quality.

France take three points and early control of Group I.

Senegal leave with nothing, but enough signs to suggest they’ll still have a big say in this group.

16/06/2026

🦆🇮🇷 FULL TIME: IRAN 2-2 NEW ZEALAND 🇳🇿🦆

If you like comebacks, counter-comebacks and strikers called Just, this was the match for you.

New Zealand stunned Iran after just seven minutes when Elijah Just finished off a move created by Nottingham Forest’s Chris Wood. The Kiwi ducks were flying early and Iran suddenly found themselves chasing the game.

The Iranian ducks eventually fought back and found an equaliser in the 32nd minute, restoring order before half-time.

But New Zealand weren’t finished.

Nine minutes into the second half, the deadly Chris Wood-Elijah Just partnership struck again. Wood provided the ammunition, Just applied the finish, and the All White ducks were back in front at 2-1.

For ten glorious minutes, New Zealand were dreaming of a famous victory.

Then Iran responded once more.

The Persian ducks levelled on 64 minutes and set up a frantic final half-hour as both sides searched for a winner.

Neither could find it.

🥝 Kiwi Connection Award: Chris Wood and Elijah Just, who combined for both New Zealand goals.

🌲 Forest Award: Chris Wood, whose two assists were almost enough to earn all three points.

⚖️ Balance of Persia Award: Iran, who twice came from behind and refused to be beaten.

🦆 Just Reward Award: Elijah Just, whose brace made him one of the stars of the tournament so far.

🤝 Fair Quack Award: A draw that felt about right after ninety minutes of twists and turns.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8.5/10. Four goals, changing momentum and two teams refusing to stay down.

Two goals for Elijah Just.

Two assists for Chris Wood.

Two comebacks by Iran.

Two points shared.

16/06/2026

🦆🇸🇦 FULL TIME: SAUDI ARABIA 1-1 URUGUAY 🇺🇾🦆

Saudi Arabia came within ten minutes of producing one of the biggest shocks of the World Cup Duck so far.

The Green Falcon Ducks struck in the 41st minute and fully deserved their lead. They matched Uruguay feather for feather, defended superbly and headed into the break with a famous result very much on the cards.

Uruguay, packed with talent and tournament pedigree, spent much of the evening looking for answers.

For 79 minutes, they couldn’t find any.

Then came the 80th minute.

Just as the Saudi supporters began dreaming of a famous victory, Uruguay finally found the breakthrough they had been searching for and levelled the scores.

The final ten minutes were frantic. Saudi Arabia tried to regain the lead, Uruguay pushed for a winner, but neither side could land the decisive peck.

🦅 Falcon Award: Saudi Arabia, whose organisation and determination nearly earned all three points.

🧉 Mate Award: Uruguay, who kept fighting and eventually found a way back into the match.

⏰ Turning Point Award: Uruguay’s 80th-minute equaliser that changed the entire mood of the game.

💔 Nearly Men Award: Saudi Arabia, who were just ten minutes away from a famous victory.

🤝 Fair Quack Award: A draw that both sides can probably live with, even if Saudi Arabia may feel they deserved a little more.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8/10. A superb effort from Saudi Arabia and a reminder that nobody gets an easy ride at this World Cup.

Saudi Arabia earn a point and plenty of respect.

Uruguay earn a point and breathe a huge sigh of relief.

15/06/2026

🦆FULL TIME: BELGIUM 1-1 EGYPT 🦆

Mohamed Salah celebrated his birthday in style as Egypt claimed a deserved point against Belgium in one of the funniest matches of the tournament so far.

The Pharaoh Ducks took the lead and looked well worth it. Salah pulled the strings, Belgium looked rattled and Egypt seemed destined for a famous victory.

Then Belgium turned to Romelu Lukaku.

The big Belgian duck waddled onto the pitch as a substitute.

Twenty-two seconds later, Belgium were level.

Twenty-two seconds after that, Lukaku was celebrating like he'd just scored the goal of the tournament.

The only slight flaw in the plan?

It looked suspiciously like an own goal.

Somewhere in the Belgian dressing room, Lukaku is probably claiming he'd changed the flight of the ball through sheer force of personality.

Egypt won't care much for the debate. They'll be kicking themselves for not holding on, while Belgium will be relieved to escape with a point.

🎂 Birthday Duck Award: Mohamed Salah, who gave Belgium headaches all afternoon.

⏱️ Impact Sub Award: Romelu Lukaku, who changed the game after just 22 seconds.

🤔 Are We Sure? Award: Whoever is officially crediting Belgium's equaliser.

🏺 Pharaoh Award: Egypt, who were excellent and deserved their point.

😂 Chutzpah Award: Lukaku, who claimed the goal with the confidence of a man who'd scored from 40 yards rather than possibly watching an Egyptian duck do the job for him.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8.5/10. Goals, drama, controversy and a birthday celebration all rolled into one.

One point each.

One birthday boy smiling.

And one Belgian striker checking the score sheet every five minutes to make sure his name is still on it.

15/06/2026

🦆🇪🇸 FULL TIME: SPAIN 0-0 CAPE VERDE 🇨🇻🦆

The biggest shock of the World Cup Duck so far?

Without question.

The Spanish ducks arrived expecting to dance their way to three points. Instead they spent 90 minutes running into a wall of determined Cape Verdean feathers.

Wave after wave of Spanish attacks crashed against the Cape Verde defence. The favourites dominated possession, created chances and passed the ball around beautifully.

There was just one tiny problem.

Nobody remembered to score.

Meanwhile, the Cape Verde ducks defended like their lives depended on it. Every tackle was cheered like a goal. Every clearance felt like a victory. Every minute that passed increased the belief that something special might be possible.

By the final whistle, the Spanish ducks looked close to tears.

The Cape Verde ducks looked ready to throw the biggest beach party the Atlantic Ocean has ever seen.

🏝️ Island Heroes Award: Cape Verde, for earning a famous point against one of the tournament favourites.

🧱 Seawall Award: The Cape Verde defence, which refused to let Spain through.

😭 Tears of the Matador Award: Spain, who simply couldn't find a way past the underdogs.

🦆 Giant Killer Award: Cape Verde, who may not have won the match but certainly won the headlines.

🏆 Duck Off Rating: 8/10. No goals, but plenty of drama and one of the stories of the tournament so far.

For Spain, two points dropped.

For Cape Verde, one point earned and a memory that will last forever.

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