29/08/2021
I was raised to be a nice, polite, respectful girl. Maybe you were too. All of my school reports contained words such as “quiet”, “thoughtful”, “calm” and “gentle”.
My one and only detention at school occurred because I asked a teacher why the girls had to do gymnastics whilst the boys played cricket. I was mortified and ashamed and quickly learnt that questioning those with authority or an age advantage wasn’t acceptable.
When I left education and was thrown into the real world, that good girl image was reinforced. I was shut down when I asked questions in meetings at work. I was talked over. If I was passionate about something, it was misconstrued as anger. Something I was once told “is so unattractive in a woman”.
I know I’m not alone in these experiences. Even if you didn’t encounter it as directly as I did, chances are you did experience subtle undertones growing up as female... we should be nice, polite, good girls.
Our Good Girl Conditioning - an impossible of standards that we as women are expected to uphold in order to be acceptable in a patriarchal society.
Here’s the thing... I no longer have an interest in being a good girl or woman. I don’t care about being ladylike (whatever that even means anyway). I no longer desire to shrink myself to please anyone else. I can’t keep quiet about the things that matter.
I do care about being kind and supportive to others. I do care about being genuine and showing up as my whole self. I do care about speaking up for those who can’t. I do care about fighting for what’s important to me. I do care about showing up to life every day with passion, purpose and playfulness. I do care about using my voice and allowing my anger. It’s fuel for creating change.
You don’t have to be the good girl to be loved.
You don’t have to stifle your opinions to be professional.
You don’t have to shrink your passion, desire, ambition, or sensuality to be respected.
And we need to stop judging women for being anything other than the full expression of ourselves. Who’s with me? 👇🏼💛
