15/09/2017
She brought me a toothbrush and a clean pair of yoga pants.
And underwear.
She didn’t ask if I needed un**es before packing a bag and schlepping across town to hug her friend at the hospital. Obviously, “Do you need some underwear?” can be an awkward question no matter how close you may be.
Instead, she walked around her own quiet house at dawn asking herself, “What might someone wish for after two all-nighters in the hospital?”
This is how you do love.
He came and prayed. Even knowing he’d battle rush-hour traffic and would likely miss morning appointments, he arrived in the early hours. Opening his Bible, he read a Psalm his daddy had read to him when he was too scared to sleep.
This is how you do love.
If you’re like me, I worry that I don’t do love very well. I don’t always know what to do or say when others are suffering. It’s a terrible feeling, isn’t it? The desire to comfort and be a tangible help, but unsure of the best way to go about it?
My inner conversations often go like this: "I want to help, but I don’t want to burden. Should I go? Should I call? Should I text? What will I say when I get there? I don’t want to make things any harder. Are we close enough that they would even want to see or hear from me in the midst of all they have going on?"
She told me that dinner would arrive at 6pm.
She didn’t ask if we wanted dinner, needed dinner, would be home for dinner, or if we all even LIKED that kind of dinner. Instead, she prepared a meal in tinfoil, walked straight into my frighteningly messy kitchen, and put dinner in the fridge for when we would eventually drag home.
This is how you do love.
Friends, we are called to regularly do love; to comfort and care for our neighbors and those we encounter lying in our road.
Some of you already do love so beautifully it seems almost effortless (we all know it's not). The way you are; your loving-kindness; make this world warmer, safer, and so much lovelier for the rest of us.
But, if you (like me) ever worry how best to help in times of trouble, here are some brief thoughts on how others have loved me well in mine.
Don't ask, “Do you need anything?” or “Is there anything I can do?” I’ve done this myself – countless times – and always with the very best intentions. Of course your friend will appreciate you reaching out, but they probably won’t tell you what they really need.
Why? Because, what they REALLY need is for their child to be well; their loved one to be alive; their cancer to be gone. Life is not as it should be, and what they really, really need is for all things to be well.
Do ask yourself: “How might I show love in this particular situation?” or “Is there anything I can do for them while their focus is elsewhere?” And then go do that. It will be different for everyone - there is no love recipe.
Go and sit, even for a little while. Bring coffee. Bring a pillow or sweater. Send a card. Mow the grass. Take out the Monday trash. Water the plants. Feed the pets. Pick up the kids from school. Bring a toothbrush. Bring underwear. You're doing it! You're doing love.
Do pray to our Father: “Your kingdom come; your will be done; on earth as it is in heaven.”
She sets her alarm to go off every day at 8:00am, noon, and 4:00pm. Three times each day her little boy hears the alarm and runs through the house to find her. “Mommy! Mommy! It’s time to pway”.
She can’t go to the hospital with both her littles at home. She can’t be with her friend in person, but she can be there in Spirit.
And so she stops what she’s doing to sit on the floor with her sleepy-eyed boy and they pray (and pway) to their Heavenly Father, who is over, under, in, before, behind, and through all things.
This is how you do love.
Peace to each of you as you love each other well this week.
Kim
*Compassion: Mixed media painting on canvas by Laly Mille*
*Repost from original
https://givenbreath.com/2015/09/14/this-is-how-you-do-love/
