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02/09/2016

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26/10/2013

KING OF RHYMES

So many have been stolen unaware as rapture by satanic vulture, but powers have been structured by jehovah with every tendency infrastructure, and he has placed our glorious future in a greener pasture, so lets give all thanks to alfa who has brought us this far even before people begin to ask us how far, let give all adorations to omega who has made us to grow mega beyond the level of any beggar,
So many people have packed-up, others have given-up but yet we are going-up because jehovah is our back-up, So many are in partnership with hardship, but here we are with him in fellowship, what a great priviledge sunship, so let us lift him with a heart of worship and recognize his lordship, Because despite all the crash and
clash that have crushed so many lives yet we are alive without a scrach, i mean despite all the atrocities and calamities that have be-fallen many in different cities, yet non came to our vecinities, instead we were granted serenity in our community without austerity to the mother of liabilty, Thats why so many are landlords of the cementary, lots are
tenants of mortuary, others are candidates of obituary, but we are worshippers in the santuary, simply because of the lord that has been keeping us right from january, couple with his love for us written in our diary, and remember, all these God has done without collecting a salary...

05/10/2013

A man was driving around 1.00am alone in his car. He got to a checkpoint and met Akpos, a policeman stopped him and asked for all his papers and particulars, which the man provided. Akpos had nothing to ask again, but in order to solicit a bribe from him at all cost, he said; “I charge you for driving alone at this time of the day. If you get involved in an accident, who’ll take care of you.
The man replied: I’m not alone, Jesus Christ is with me here, Angel Gabriel, Angel Rapheal, Angel Micheal and five other angels are with me here.
Akpos The police man: “Whaaat! All these people inside this your small car? I charge you for overloading.”

02/10/2013

Akpors' friend, Okem, was giving his wife the beating of her life, & the woman kept shouting for help.
Luckily Akpos came in, the woman was so happy thinking she has gotten a helper, and Akpors said to Okem, "You don't beat women these days, you only need to marry a 2nd wife, you hear!"
Okem's wife screamed on top of her voice, "Honey, Don't listen to him, CONTINUE BEATING ME!!!"

02/10/2013

Yoruba mums produce the best range of slaps:
*Igbati
*Ifoti
*Igbaju
*Igbarun
*Iforun
*Ifakun
*Ibadi
*Abara
These slaps will make you think you were adopted.
-Igbati will make you correct your wrong lesekese!
-The beauty of Ifoti is that you will confess your sins on the spot.
-Igbarun, Igbaju and Iforun will make you snitch on all those who committed the crime with you without hesitation.
-Ifakun and Iladi will make you p*e in your new pants!
-While Abara is the worst... This will make you do all of the above at once!

God bless our parents for the good upbringing!

02/10/2013

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick
up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me" she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who I haven't seen in a long time."

"sorry about dat" replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!'?

It would make me feel so much better. "Sure," answered the young man. So, when the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the check-out counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!" The clerk replied, "Your mother said that you would pay for her"

30/09/2013

Who do you think is the best rapper in africa...?

1. Olamide
2. Naeto_c
3. Ikechukwu
4. 2shot
5. Sarkodie
6. Ice_prince
7. M I
8. Ill_bliss
9. N***a raw
10. Phyno
•Specify if not listed...

30/09/2013

Which of this men is more foolish...?

1) A yoruba man who waters his plant when its raining...

2) An hausa man who climbed a mango tree to check if it was ripe, and came down and continue stoning it...

3) An igbo man who saw something that looks like s**t, after he tasted it and confirmed, he said "I said it, i know say dis tin na s**t, thank God say i no match am"...

21/09/2013

Quote of the day: Instead make e spoil for pot....make e spoil for belle.

20/09/2013

if u think its ur alarm clock dat woke u up, try putting it next 2 a co**se nd understand d grace. Gud Mawin Fan$

15/09/2013

NAMING CEREMONY

Akpors insisted that his first child must bear his name. So on the day of naming...
Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear? Akpors: (with smile all over his face) replied "Akpors"
Rev: NO! He has to bear an English name.
Akpors: Oh ok... Akporsking.
Rev: (Obviously tired of the prank) LISTEN! Your son should be named after a saint in the Bible.
Akpors: Na wa o... (He thought for a while and obviously with an inspiration and great smile) "Ok pastor, St. Akporstus"

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