Wise in Love

22/05/2026

27/02/2026

Now that you are well-positioned, what should you look out for?

I hear that women do not have specs; it is money that determines the specs. 😅😅😅

If that is the case for you, then you did not grasp that I have been saying that you are not yet positioned. Go back and read from the beginning.

You are supposed to have a spec; every human being was created to have a choice, irrespective of the circumstance.

So, first

Ask yourself, what kind of a man do I want physically—because something must attract you. 😅
Tall, not too tall; dark-skinned, not too dark-skinned; light-skinned; chocolate.

What is your physical attraction? Not that tomorrow, when you see someone's husband, you start admiring and wishing; talk your own now. 😅😅😅

This will help you recognize him when he comes, keep your mind from wandering in the relationship, and help you focus.

What kind of a man do you want physically?

We'll be right back!

18/02/2026

The final part is on how to prepare and position yourself to attract the right kind of man for marriage (identity).

Timing is as important as preparation.

Being prepared does not mean you are rushing. When I was preparing myself, I did not even know I would get married in the next 5 years, and I started preparing before 20.

It wasn't even because of marriage, but I was developing myself as a proper human being.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing—Proverb 18:20.

If I wasn't preparing myself in a good way, would I have been attracted to the "finder"? No! He was only attracted to me because I was in position. (He did not even believe my age at the time, because I was behaving more matured than my actual age.) 😅😅😅

He left a relationship of almost ten years and proposed to me the second year of our relationship, yet he did not propose to whom he was with for almost ten years.

Your responsibility is preparation and positioning, not chasing, pursuit, pressure, or getting pregnant.

Men know the kind of woman they want; when they see it, they can do anything to get her and quickly wife her.

To attract the right kind of man for marriage, a woman must

1. Know her identity in Christ. Very important! (I got my husband born again even though he is from a Christian family). I had to cancel many hangouts because of church activities; he knew I could not trade church activities for mere hangouts. God first!

2. Develop godly characters. Forsake characters that do not glorify God. Forsake characters that grieve the Holy Spirit, and renew your mind with the fruit of the Holy Spirit.

3. If you are waiting, wait on purpose. Don't stop your life because of marriage. Continue with your life, career, business, and whatever you are involved in; marriage will come. Don't pause your life because of marriage.

4. Cultivate peace and self-respect. Have inner peace as the child of God, be anxious for nothing, and have self-respect. Do not compromise your values because you want to get married.

5. Guide your environment. Leave any environment that will cause you to dishonor God. Be in an environment that helps you to love God more while waiting.

6. Pray without desperation and trust God's timing. God is never late. He is always on time.

When a woman is rightly positioned, the right man will recognize her values without persuasion.

16/02/2026

Part 5

Pray—but don't idolize marriage. Prayer positions you, but idolatry delays you.

Common boyfriend, you already saved his number as "my crown." 😅😅 😅.

The Bible says, "A good wife is a crown to her husband," not the other way round.

Seek first the kingdom of God and pray like this:

• Lord, make me whole. A whole person will not idolize another human being.

• Lord, align me with your will.

Most times marriage makes you walk outside of God's will for you. Time to pray is when hubby wants s*x and you think it is normal. Everyone knows service starts by 8 am; hubby decides you would pound yams with a mortar for him on the same Sunday morning. It is not normal. If you are not grounded in Christ, marriage will drain you and shift you away from Christ. That slogan of "I will manage" shouldn't be for you as a child of God.

• Prepare me for covenant, not just companionship. This is where many people miss it.

The man is coming to "add," not complete or replace.

My better half, he completes me... all that talk that sounds sweet but is not right.

You must have "a whole identity" before marriage.

You must not be lost because you got married; remember you will stand before God to answer for yourself; your spouse will not be beside you.

A man is an addition to you, not your everything. Do not idolize him because God is jealous of anything that wants to take His place in our lives, and you know what that means.

14/02/2026

Part 4

She was a run-of-the-mill girl whom he usually patronized, and he got to like her. After a while, he decided to marry her.

After the marriage, the real horror started. Every little thing she does, he will remind her where he picked her from.

She had to do everything to please him, but it did not work, and he continued to abuse her physically and emotionally. It got to a point where he abused her physically during pregnancy; she reported him, and he signed an undertaking never to touch her again. Because he couldn't cope with her again, he sent her to his village to help his mom in her restaurant; that was the last I heard of her. I needed to share this so you can understand how important "environment" is in relationships.

Guard your environment and association. They say your environment influences you, and a friend of a liar will be a liar because two can't work together unless they agree.

If you want a godly man:

1. Be in a godly space. You won't see a godly man in a club.

2. Serve in the house of God.

Even though it is not guaranteed they are born again, the risk is still minimal 😃. They have a higher chance of a touch by the Holy Spirit.

3. Build healthy friendships. Iron can only sharpen iron. I always recommend building friendships with people older than you so you can learn from their experiences or younger people who have walked through the path you desire so you can learn from them as well. (That is if you will drop your pride.)

4. Avoid environments that normalize immorality. (I had a situation in 2007 where I had to live in a friend's family house for two weeks; I was praying for the two weeks to be over so I could leave the environment.

Right men rarely look for wives in places designed for lust.

The next part is going to be...

12/02/2026

Part 3

Cultivate Purpose.

It is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).

Ask yourself, am I developing myself spiritually, intellectually, and practically because the Bible says "a good woman" does this and does that?

If the Bible says "a good woman," it means not all women are good for marriage. (Are you thinking what I am thinking? 😅)

Ask yourself. Do I have direction even if it is still unfolding? Am I busy with Jesus' assignment for my life?

A woman without purpose unconsciously pressures a man to become her purpose. That is why you are busy policing a fully grown man when you should be doing something productive.

If you have a purpose rooted in your identity, you will not have time for unnecessary drama.

This character repels a healthy man. No man wants a woman stalking them in the name of love. Let them breathe. 😅

10/02/2026

Part 2

Build character before chemistry. Many relationships fail because they were built on feelings, not a foundation.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Proverbs 31:30).

Men suitable for marriage look for

• Stability (she has a life beyond marriage).

• Peace (no man wants a dramatic woman; they want to come home to a peaceful home).

• Wisdom (Proverb 31 woman)

• Respect (you have to understand your position and stay there).

• Self-control (be responsible in all areas)

I know you will ask, "How do i position myself?" 😄😄

If you desire a man of integrity, become a woman of integrity. Become what you desire!

Practical areas to work on
• Emotional maturity (you have to be responsible for yourself first before allowing a man in your space).

• Speech. Control how you speak.

• Sexual discipline—respect your body and he will respect you

A man ready for marriage is not drawn to chaos or drama.

You have to get yourself together because marriage will not put you together.

Part 3 loading...

09/02/2026

First of all, marriage is instituted by God, and if you want to enjoy it and not endure it, you have to do it in a biblical way; that is the only way you will have peace.

Marriage is not for cultural, traditional, or normal people; marriage is for kingdom people. This is the truth, many of you will argue. 😅😅😅 😅.

How should I prepare myself to attract the right kind of man for marriage? 📍📍

First off, marriage is not attracted by chance; it is a divine alignment. (God has a purpose for marriage.) 📌📌

I carefully put together 10 biblical ways to prepare yourself. (You won't attract "anyhow" if you listen.)

1. Start with your identity. Before asking, what kind of man do I want? You must answer, "Who am I becoming?" Proverbs 31:10 says, "She is far more precious than jewels."

The right man will not be attracted to desperation (I am getting old; my friends are all married), or pressure (let's just start something, or you intentionally get pregnant so he can marry you), or performances (every weekend you go do wife duties and give him your body for free).

The right man is attracted to clarity of identity. 📌📌

He is attracted to a woman who is fully aware of her worth 📌📌

He is attracted to a woman who will not compromise her values rooted in Christ for anything. 📌 📌

You dont attract what you want; you attract what you are position for 📌📌

Reality check 📍

Ask yourself
• Do I know who I am in Christ?
•. Am I emotionally whole or looking for a man to complete me?
• Is my value rooted in God or in male approval? Because;

a woman who knows her worth does not beg for attention; she commands respect 📌📌📌 📌



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