07/10/2024
MY MEAN MOTHER
I had the meanest mother in the world. While other kids had lollies for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, bacon, eggs and toast. While other kids had cans of drink and lollies for lunch I had to have a sandwich and fruit. As you can guess my dinners were not only different from other kids but most of the time I had to eat it at the table while all the other kids ate theirs in front of T.V.
When other parents drove their children to school my mean mother made me bike to school on the bike that I had nagged her to get for me.
My mother also insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were on a chain gang or something. She had to know who our friends were, where we were going and she even told us what time we had to be home.
I’m ashamed to admit it but my mother actually had the nerves to break child labour laws. She made us wash dishes, make our beds and even learn to cook. That woman must have stayed awake at nights just thinking up things for us kids to do.
By the time we were teenagers she made our whole lives miserable. Our old-fashioned mother refused to let us date before we were fifteen and then insisted that boys had to come to the door to collect the girls from our family instead of tooting their car horns for them to come running.
She really raised a bunch of losers. None of us kids were ever arrested for shoplifting or busted for drugs.
And who do you think we thank for this? You’re right – our mean mother. Every day we hear cries from both our people and our politicians about what our country needs. What our country really needs is – more mothers like mine!
