12/08/2026
(29F) am married but got pulled into something s*xual with an old friend and now I'm confused and guilty
I’m a 29F, married for 3 years. I love my husband, but he’s extremely unromantic and has very low libido. S*x is short, there’s no real foreplay, and most of the time he’s not in the mood for a second round. Before marriage I had a boyfriend and while I wasn’t super experienced, the s*xual chemistry was definitely much better.
For the last 3 years of marriage, I’ve been missing intimacy… real intimacy. Feeling wanted. Feeling desired. Feeling like someone is actually into me s*xually. It’s been eating at me slowly.
I’ve had a male friend since school who moved to Europe years ago, but we stayed in touch. Recently I was venting to him about how emotionally and physically disconnected I feel in my marriage. He already knew about my husband’s libido and how much that affects me.
One day when I was really down, he tried to cheer me up. The conversation slowly turned flirtatious. I resisted at first, but eventually we slipped into s*xting. And I felt things I haven’t felt in years. The intensity, the attention, the desire was overwhelming.
Over time the fantasies got more extreme. I found myself enjoying things that shocked even me, things I have never explored or thought about before, like abusive,incest roleplay, i play my mother and he plays my father or his father I enjoyed the th*****me and I've been playing my mother and he's been playing different people and I'm enjoying this, things are so messed up that I've started touching myself thinking about my mother getting fu**ed by other relatives/people.And now I’m honestly scared of myself. I don’t recognize these urges, and I don’t know why they turn me on. I’ve been carrying this guilt like a weight on my chest.
I haven’t told anyone. I can’t tell my husband. I don’t even know what I want… the s*x I’m craving? The thrill? The emotional validation? Or just an escape from feeling starved in my own marriage?
I needed to say this somewhere. It’s been eating me alive.