27/05/2025
Refer to my recent blog post. Every colour that borders an area represents something personal and emotional, a person or emotion. Every inner blend of green, blue, yellow represents the cultural developments and structures and organisations and realities, also very human (in the sense that they wouldn't exist without us, they're not clouds). I think that's the main fascination I have, just human constructs. There's so much agency and meaning and desire. It doesn't feel like anything to do with nature or natural forms has anything to do with what anyone wants. When you're depicting something with embroidery and making art, there is always the semblance or underlying feeling that you're glorifying it/showcasing it and it irks me to spend anytime on something that just came from nowhere and everywhere, evolution, chance, natural processes. So I'm drawn to abstract shapes and mechanics and representing concepts, quite aggressively avoiding floral forms and I'm not sure how successful I am in that. It's just how I felt whilst making this project, a sort of disdain towards the indifference I've always perceived in nature. My initial reaction to the thought of nature as a (on the surface level) cruel but truly indifferent force is fear. But if it's not going to care about me and what I do, then I'll care about what I do. I care about a lot of things and a lot of people. If we're just animals as much as other creatures and a part of earth, then why do we care? I could very well be missing something and getting a lot of things wrong but I'll figure more and more out. My next project will delve into those themes that I struggle to figure out and I'll hopefully come to a different conclusion. I think that a drive and desire to change and believe in things with full confidence even if just for a day like today with what I wrote here will lead me to uncovering more. Very long (and public) rant and train of thought but something I'll look back and comment on with more experience.