Futile Device

Futile Device Futile Device Co. Words are weapons. Arm yourself.

You know how I can tell everyone’s feeling a little off? This sticker and tote bag combo is the best seller so far this ...
08/16/2026

You know how I can tell everyone’s feeling a little off? This sticker and tote bag combo is the best seller so far this month. And rightfully so. I figure by October we’re all gonna be juuuuuuust about rabid.

08/14/2026

Alexa Are meerkats legal to own in Minneapolis and how many can I get at once

Hey silly persons. Since you need me to hold it for you while you p*e, just tap the little three bars and you’ll get you...
08/02/2026

Hey silly persons. Since you need me to hold it for you while you p*e, just tap the little three bars and you’ll get your fun surprise. How ye dern. I’ve categorized all of the things into distinct, easy, user-friendly bu****it.

Because the modern consumer, no matter how well-intentioned, needs to be slapped around by the logic fairy now and again.

Reminder: I make tees, embroidered hats, tanks, hoodies. Zip hoodies, polos, mugs, Stanleys, knit beanies, ornaments, patches, buttons, you should own one of everything.

07/29/2026

All of the AI company logo marks look like robot bu****les.

Hire me, a graphic designer, and your logo will not look like a robot bu****le. Unless you’re selling robot bu****les, in which case, concessions can be made.

I say fire orange into deep crimson. Go.
07/28/2026

I say fire orange into deep crimson. Go.

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Asbury Park, NJ

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