08/01/2025
Was not going to share this publicly, but when I heard someone I know shared this with someone they thought it might help… I thought I’d share it with all of you… just incase you know someone who can relate …
Today never gets easier.
In fact, it gets harder—because it’s been even longer since I’ve hugged you. Since I picked up the phone to call you, laughed with you, talked endlessly and multiple times a day, gone shopping together, shared stories about how amazing your grandkids are, or just let you listen to my complaints, opinions, ailments, joys, travels, fun, everyday chaos—the way only you could.
I miss hearing about your joy and life in NYC—from museums to theater. And more than anything, I miss seeing you with Daddy… hugging, kissing, holding hands. The way he made you laugh.
Many days, I don’t know how I go on. But I do—because I know that’s what you would want. What Daddy would want.
I carry you in my heart always. I cry alone on many days, but somehow, that inner strength and wisdom you always said I had—that you saw in me like no one else—I see it in me now and it is what got me through, where I had to dig deep in places I didn’t know existed and what gets me through, but it’s all thanks to you.
To have loved you mommy (and daddy) with such depth is the biggest gift you gave me. But losing you is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Grief like this changes how I see everything, joy is even more present, quieter yet so much deeper, life feels more fragile but far more precious. And somehow, in the heartbreak, I have learned to live much more fully—because I know what it means to love you, and to lose you.
You were my person— mommy. My world. My guiding light and North Star. You and dad were my biggest champions.
And now, you are the air that surrounds me that I breathe every day that keeps me going.
Grief is different for everyone, mine I choose to let it make me sad, I choose to enjoy it and I choose to let it sit with me and be ok with carrying it, because it is who I am. I miss you every second for the past six years, Mommy … and I will wait … until I can see you and Daddy again.🤍