05/05/2026
I’ve been struggling to wrap up my military service. Trying to prove to myself that it happened, I don’t really have anything to show for it honestly. 7 years in, I never received an award, or a going away gift of any sort. What I did receive was a medical discharge, irreparable damage to my spine and neck, and shoulder. I wanted to be a 20 year man, and things just didn’t pan out that way. Why do I feel so empty ? In all ways I’m trying to validate my military service by making things like this. This was my going away present to myself. When I received it back from Hobby Lobby, I immediately felt somber. Why ?
Why do I have to prove ? Was I not good enough of a Marine ? Was I really just some bo**er of a Sergeant that I didn’t even warrant a small gift of gratitude ? Is that materialistic ?
I celebrate my service with this art piece from . Truth be told it threw me deeper into depression, because I don’t feel worthy of it.