Goth Council of Cincinnati

Goth Council of Cincinnati A place where all the angsty people who wear black can unite... but only if you abide by the dress code. Our theme song is Voltaire's "If I Only Were A Goth".

*THIS PAGE IS SATIRICAL, NOONE ACTUALLY BELIEVES THIS!*
We are here for all of the pretentious goth kids so we can unite and show how elite we all are. We will only listen to The Cure and bands that are really fantastic, but you've probably never heard of them. We are better than hipsters because we are not trying to be ironic, we are just trying to express ourselves. If you listen to anything tha

t isn't dark, you can't be part of our group. If you listen to Lady GaGa, we will take you and flog you into submission. Even if you aren't our submissive, you still must submit to us because we are Gorean and we are THE DOM. We complain about Hot Topic and how big of posuers those who shop there are, but in actuality we have such hard feelings because we want to wear everything they have there and can't afford it. We mock the preps for conforming even though we all look the same too. We think everyone hates us even though it's really just annoyance and dislike because we want attention and would like to think people invest enough emotion into hating us.

09/20/2018

Being a p**o isn't a kink. Your p**o friends suck and so do you for accepting them because they're popular in your scene or have the m**h hookup.

People have asked where to get your Official Goth© card. You may apply for yours at your local Jobs and Family Services...
10/09/2017

People have asked where to get your Official Goth© card. You may apply for yours at your local Jobs and Family Services office.

09/23/2016

KNEEL BEFORE ZOD

11/08/2012

It has been noted that some of you have been wearing blue jeans. Especially at the club. There will be points deducted from your Goth card. That is all.

03/10/2012

I shat a bat earlier. He now Guards the toilet paper.

02/22/2012

So there have been some people at Darkotica wearing BLUE JEANS. The shame of it all!

Our theme song. Be sad, everyone.
06/25/2011

Our theme song. Be sad, everyone.

yeah it is what it is

Address

Cincinnati, OH
12666

Opening Hours

Monday 7am - 5pm
Tuesday 7am - 5pm
Wednesday 7am - 5pm
Thursday 7am - 5pm
Friday 7am - 5pm
Saturday 7am - 5pm
Sunday 7am - 5pm

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