06/23/2026
I WROTE A FEW POEMS YESTERDAY. I ALLOW A FEW PEOPLE IN HERE TO READ MY WRITING TO GET FEEDBACK AND A LITTLE FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS. LOL! MY BUNKY ASKED ME YESTERDAY IF TEXS KNEW I COULD WRITE LIKE THAT? LIKE WHAT, I ASKED? SHE SAID, ALL BAD ASS LIKE THAT? I ANSWERED, NO. NOBODY DID. ONCE UPON A TIME I WROTE JUST FOR ME. THEN I GOT WITH MY FIRST HUSBAND WHO UP UNTIL NOW WAS THE ONLY PERSON STILL IN MY LIFE WHE EVEN KNEW I COULD WRITE. I WROTE HIM ENTIRE BOOKS OF POETRY ALL GOO GOO EYED AND IN LOVE. A SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL AND STILL A MUSICIAN AT HEART PLAYING GUITA AND PIANO WITH FRIENDS WHEN HE WASNT LOOKING. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW MY POETRY AND LETTERS MEANT THAT MUCH TO HIM. WE ARE BOTH INTROVERTS WHO HOLD COMPOSUTE LIKE A BRICK WALL. SO WE PUSHED EVERY POSSIBLE BUTTON TO BET A RISE OUT OF EACH OTHER. TOXIC AS F**K. WELL ONE WEEKEND SHORTLY AFTER I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH OUR FIRST CHILD I ASKED MOMMA IF I COULD SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH HIM AND SHE SAID YES SO I PACKED A GO BAG AND HEADED TO HIS PARENTS HOUSE. I WENT TO HIS ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO JUST CHILL AND HE WOULD BE RIGHT BACK. TWO OCLOCK IN THE MORNING CAME AND HE WAS STILL A NO SHOW AND MY BLOOD WAS BOILING RED HOT. I COULDNT GO BACK HOME FOR MOMMAS I TOLD YOU SO. SHE CONSTANTLY RANTED AND RAVED ABOUT HOW HE WASNT THE MAN FOR ME AND I JUST DIDNT WANT TO SWALLOW THAT PRIDE. SO I GRABBED EVERY NOTEBOOK, PIECE OF PAPER, AND SPLASH OF INK I EVER WROTE HIM GRANTICALLY RANDSACKING HIS TOOM AND PACKED IT INTO THE TRUNK OF MY CAR IN A FIT OF RAGE. HE HAD MESSED UP SO IN LOVE WITH ME THA HE TOOK ME EVERYWHERE WITH HIM USUALLY SO WITH MY BIPOLAR DISORDER WAY PASSED CRAZY STATUS DUE TO PREGNANCY I WENT HOUSE TO HOUSE LOOKING FOR HIM AT TWO IN THE MORNING. I FINALLY FOUND HIM BREAKING DOWN CO***NE TO SELL AT HIS HOMEBOYS HOUSE. HE COMES TO MY CAR WINDOW AND I ROLL IT DOWN STILL COMPLETELY BLINDED BY RAGE. I TOLD HIM THAT I TOOK EVERYTHING I EVER WROTE HIM FROM HIM. IM A NATURAL BORN BUTTON PUSHER, BUT I HONESTLY DIDNT THINK HE VALUED MY WRITING. I WAS WRONG. AFTER TELLING THAT I PUT MY CAR IN REVERSE TO LEAVE AND HE JUMPED ON MY CAR AND HELD ON TO THE REAR VIEW MIRROR. THAT WAS A MISTAKE, BUT LUCKY FOR HIM HE HAD ALREADY LEARNED TO RECOGNIZE CRAZY IN MY EYES. I HIT THE GAS FULLY INTENT ON TAKING HIM FOR A RIDE ON THE HOUSTON FREEWAY. HIS EYES GOT AS BIG AS QUARTERS AND HE JUMPED OFF MY CAR IN THE NICK OF TIME. HE EVENTUALLY SWEET TALKED THE WRITING BACK INTO HIS POSESSION. I EVENTUALLY STOPPED WRITING. A TOXIC AND ABUSIVE MARRIAGE, THREE KIDS, AN UNDER COVER DRUG HABIT, AND A FULL TIME JOB IN FORTUNE FIVE HUNDERED COMPANIES. WELL WHO HAD TIME FOR PEN AND PAPER WITH THAT BALANCING ACT JUGGLING LIKE A CLOWN IN A THREE RING CIRCUS. IN MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN MORE OF AN IN THE SHADOEWS TYPE OF PERSON PULLING THE STRINGS. AS A MATTER OF FACT TEXS OFTEN REFERRED TO ME AS THE PUPPET MASTER. IT USE TO HURT MY FEELINGS. I AM MORE INCLINED TO OWN WHO I AM THESE DAYS AND F**K WHOEVER DOESNT LIKE IT. PUPPET MASTER AT THE TIME WAS A PRETTY ACCURAT DESCRIPTION OF ME. A BUNCH OF MY PRIVATE WRITING WAS STOLEN AND PUBLISHED IN OTHER COUNTRIES AND LANGUAGES. I STILL DIDNT GET HOW TALLENTED I WAS OPTING TO FIND TALENT IN OTHER PEOPLE AND OFF TO PUPPET MASTER THEM TO STARDOM. ALL ANYONE CARED ABOUT WAS THE DOPE SO I WASNT GETTING ANYWHERE WITH THAT. I FINALLY GAVE UP AND THEN IT DAWNED ON ME. IF I COULD DO IT FOR THEM THEN I CAN DO IT FOR ME. I LEARNED CYBERSECURITY SO MY WRITING COULD NEVER BE RIPPED OFF AGAIN AND THEN I PICKED UP MY PEN AGAIN AND THE REST IS HISTORY. HERE WE ARE. SO NOBODY KNEW I COULD WRITE. THE PEOPLE I WAS AROUND USE TO FLOW. RAP OFF THE TOPS OF THEIR HEADS. THEY BEGAN READING MY POETRY AND ASKING ME, WHO WROTE THAT? I SAID, ME. I WROTE THAT. THEY WERE ASTOUNDED. IN THE STREETS THEY WOULD OFTEN SAY THINGS LIKE THEY WERE GOING TO TEACH ME TO FLOW. I WOULD THINK TO MYSELF, I HAVE MY OWN TALENT. I DONT NEED YOURS. I COULD WRITE AN ENTIRE VERSE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD WHILE THEY WERE STILL FLOWING LINE THREE. WAY DEEPER AND MORE UNIQUE THAN A SILLLY NINETEEN YEAR OLDS HEARTBREAK. AND EDGY. I DRAW BLOOD. DONT TRY TO SAND ME SMOOTH OR POLISH ME SHINY. I MEANT TO CREATE THAT SCAR. YOU ARE MEANT TO REMEMBER ME 637!
