09/16/2026
12 hours of screen time and somehow I’m still 47 texts behind, have 9 unread emails, 3 Gchats I “responded to” exclusively in my head, and absolutely no idea what’s happening in WhatsApp.
At this point, if you need me, send a carrier pigeon.
But DO NOT send a voice memo. The pigeon and I will both block you.
Take your socks seriously. And please stop inventing new ways to contact me.