08/29/2023
I committed to the Classic this year on August 1st - just 26 days prior to race day. Undertrained and far too lax about the possibility of a gnarly day, I told myself to just go out there this year and have fun. Enjoy the ocean, enjoy the journey and forget the race, and just do what you love. Mother Nature, however, was in a very foul mood on Sunday morning.
When I woke up and went out to the stern of my boat at 3am and the wind was howling so loud that I had to hold on to the engine for balance, I should have known what was in store for all of us. I sort of did, but like all 110 of us waking up in the dark that morning, I just pushed the fear down, and hoped that the weather would change once we got out there beyond the lee of the island.
I’m so impressed by everyone that finished out there, and even those who gave all they had before surrendering. It was relentless, depleting, and character-forming.
My friends and family asked me why I was doing it again this year, what I was trying to prove. The answer is nothing. I just lost a lot this year, and this was personal - I needed this W for me. I needed it to remind myself of a few things. And only the true maniacs with iron discipline will understand that.
After 9 hours and 20 minutes I finally finished and washed ashore. Burnt and broken, I actually smiled and finally felt the beauty I was looking for. Saw some loving faces still out there waiting for me, and realized that even after over 9 hours of hell just grinding, I wouldn’t give Sunday back for anything.
My boat crew was the only reason I stayed the course. Both of these guys are past Catalina finishers, so only they could truly understand what the hell I felt out there. They now know the dictionary meaning of ‘miserable,’ and if they ever forget it, just refer back to this first pic. Thanks for supporting me boys - the day before on the island with you was calm and meditative, and then all of a sudden all the fun and jokes got really, really real.
I don’t regret my decision to commit, even when all turned bleak and the pain hit hard. I came out the other side with exactly what I was searching for - that little reminder I needed to give myself.
