06/01/2020
Repost from TL;DR - You should read this.
Every time a black person is killed by the police, or hunted down like an animal while running, or shot in the safety of their own home, it hurts. Deep down. It’s that sinking feeling right before I always say to myself “here we go again.”
But sometimes, I move on and after a few days life returns to normal. But sometimes, it just hits different.
I was talking to a friend recently about why that may be. Why is it that sometimes, I get a little upset but other times, I find myself alone in my room in tears? I think it’s because in some cases, my sympathy truly becomes empathy. I can FEEL it. Those are the scenarios that I see myself in. The ones where I say to myself “damn, that could have been me.”
It could have been me that had the police called on them for what someone thought was a counterfeit $20 bill. It could have be me that was pulled over and shot for reaching in my glove box. And it could have been me that was simply running down the street in a neighborhood that wasn’t “mine.” Those are the situations that hurt the most.
While I know it’s typically done with the best of intentions, seeing a video/image of a someone that looks like you, begging for his life to someone that was supposed to protect him shared millions of time over the internet simply adds to the pain. Repeatedly saying to yourself, “that could have been me.” It’s heavy. It’s another weight that you have to carry as a black man living in America. It’s a burden we carry with us every day.
While you may forget as soon as the news stops covering it, or when the protests stop, I will not. Images like that are burned into the eyes of every black person living in this country. Every time someone calls 911 in a park or at grocery store or even at your own home.
“That could have been me.”
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