06/18/2024
I have been a one woman show for 7 years. It hasn’t been easy. I have been putting off this post for a couple months. I’d like to just take a moment to discuss a very real subject that maybe some of you will also be able to identify with….
BURNOUT.
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I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2nd grade back in 1995. I know neurodivergence is a term on everyone’s lips at the moment and I just want to air out my experience with the ugly ADHD burn out in hopes that I can help others feel not so ashamed or alone. Note: burn out is NOT exclusive to neurodivergence but it presents differently in my experience as someone with the ADHD.
Recently film industry work has slowed down sending me into a state of fight or flight. Suddenly having to rely on income to survive as a one woman operating shop with no warning is NO JOKE. Nervous system overdrive plus ADHD is a living nightmare. I haven’t been able to make rational business moves. (either enter avoidant paralysis or GO MODE IYKYK) being who I am recently I decided to DOUBLE DOWN and opened another booth twice the size as my newburgh space. All as I was drowning in an industry and economy in crises. Truth is I could not afford it. A month later after opening at I pulled out suddenly in one day. like a theif in the night. It wasn’t my proudest moment. I spent the rest of the month dissociating and hyper focused on making gardens as an attempt to ground myself. Only to realize it was just a way to escape from my impulsive decision I had made based off a very real fight or flight response. I couldn’t post on social media or could I bring myself to respond to e mails/ IG messages/ texts for months. I am finally regaining my footing. I will be vending at events/flea markets in the coming months and decided to reopen my Etsy store. Unfortunately in this whole process i have made the hard decision to shut down my space in the . I will miss my Warehouse people very much. Anyways I had to share because it is important to me, To outsiders this behavior looks manic depressive and unstable which makes us feel shame but the truth is we are all human beings doing our best. No shame just love🫶🏼
