11/14/2025
Hello again. It is I — the Jersey cinnamon roll — reporting in at the 48-hour mark. Two days old and already running this outfit like a seasoned professional.
First off, I’ve made major progress in the leg department. We’ve reached a truce. They behave (mostly), I don’t yell at them (much), and together we now resemble a functional mammal. I’ve got walking down, trotting underway, and the beginnings of a run that’s equal parts grace and chaos. Sometimes the front half forgets the back half exists, but that’s showbiz.
Now, let’s talk about the human. She continues to hover like I’m made of glass, asking ridiculous questions like, “Are you cold?” or “Do you want your blanket?” Of course I want my blanket. It’s black, it’s dramatic, and it makes me look like I’m about to demand protection money from the rest of the barn. I don’t need the blanket — I deserve it. Big difference.
Feeding time has become a highlight. I take my milk by bottle, thank you very much — like the royalty I am. The human holds it while I supervise. She calls it “bonding time.” I call it “employee training.”
Sometimes she’s too slow getting the bottle in position, so I help by ramming her knee with my head. She says I’m “pushy.” I say I’m “goal-oriented.”
I’ve started to develop preferences, too. Warm milk only. Proper angle. No air bubbles. And don’t even think about walking away mid-bottle — I’m not above yelling. Loudly. With feeling.
Now that I’m steady on my feet and full of energy, I’ve begun experimenting with “zoomies.” I launch myself across the pen, bounce off invisible obstacles, and act deeply offended when gravity gets involved. The human calls it adorable. I call it combat training.
So here I am: 48 hours old, fueled by milk and attitude, wrapped in my gangster blanket, and fully aware that the world spins a little faster when I’m in it. The human keeps saying I’m “so sweet.” Let her think that. I find it useful when my staff underestimates me.
That’s the latest from your resident cinnamon roll.
Tomorrow I plan to expand operations — maybe test my speed, maybe test my human’s patience. Either way, I’ll look fantastic doing it.
Cinnamon Roll out.
