02/05/2024
“Rediscovering Me” Part 1
Growing up various labels became ingrained in my identity. I was the eldest child, part of the first generation of Filipino-Americans added to my family tree, a member of the LGBTQIA+ community raised in a Catholic household, and, to top it off, I identified as a cis male. Each of these labels carried its own set of expectations, and, truthfully, I never consciously embraced these roles. Whether it was being perceived as the ‘perfect’ first child, excelling academically with grades consistently at an A, always respecting elders, and steering clear of trouble, or taking on roles as a brother and a best friend that demanded building connections through trust and communication – it was all part of a script I unwittingly followed. This script became so deeply ingrained that I knew it by heart, unaware that I had been reading it since the beginning. However, between us, I wasn’t aware that, at a young age, my mind developed a defense mechanism. This mechanism shielded me from potential repeated traumas, but inadvertently, I lost something very important along the way, but what?
This is normal?
Right?
Fast forward to 2022 – I not entirely sure whether it was the result of a year of isolation due to Covid or the emotional weight accompanied by the process of writing a personal statement and a diversity statement, but I found myself spiraling into a rabbit hole. This descent took me into the darkest corners of my reality that I never knew existed. The more I tried to brush off this darkness, the more obvious I felt that I knew I had lost something truly special. It was in that moment that I would take a chance on therapy.
![“We mothers[fathers] stand still, so our daughters[sons] can look back to see how far they’ve come.” Barbie The MovieWe ...](https://img5.fashionshops10.com/202/662/122181084992026626.jpg)
