03/11/2023
As we begin the slow roll out of some of my poetry inspired apparel and home/living options, I figured this would be the perfect opportunity to introduce a piece, explain where it came from, and the story that it holds in my writing. (Side note reminder that my giveaway ends next week! Last chances to enter now, see my featured post!!)
So..First up, we have the quote: "Time was a devil that she was growing far too intimate". This was taken from a full poem that I wrote,
"Time was the devil that she was growing far too intimate. Hands of the clock caressing her skin like a whisper. And she meets my gaze as she leans in to kiss him. Succumbing to the demons that had bound her."
My favorite thing about this piece is the image it creates, and how vastly different that image is to the story I was telling. The line in the merchandise I'm selling was the first piece of this poem, it came to me in a fleeting thought as I tried to think of ways to explain the way depression seems to make you play a dancing game with death.
But it's not really a dance, because neither of you are leading the other, instead it's like the slow burn of a romance. You're both drawn to the other. And unfortunately, most of the time you know it's a toxic romance to let play out but you almost can't help yourself. You spend so much time romanticizing what it is, and what it could be, that its like a toxic love affair. In the end, it feels like you're staring those around you in the face as you just give into it entirely.
I think I had to spend a long time learning that my depression was tempting for me, that it was easy to cave into it. That feeding into what it wanted from me was the sweetest whispers on days when things were hard. That each time I collapsed to its request was like the tick on a clock. Of course, I say all of this after having spent my last off days deep in depression naps, because it's a never ending cycle.
So, this poem is meant to express a raw and emotional time of my life that I find myself forever battling, and I think even the design featured on it helps to capture that as well. I think Taylor Swift said it best, "you knew this pain would be for evermore."
We have three new made to order/print on demand products for you live in our store at forlilacsandliars.etsy.com
And remember, treat yourself kindly.