Mommy Season

05/23/2015

I am proud to be a mom for the third time...

When I was a little kid, people would ask me what I want to be when I grow up... I never once said "mom!" Being the prime minister of Turkey was more attainable than being a mom. :)

Today, I am a mom to three beautiful children under 5 years old and there is no other achievement that makes me more proud... And I had many other achievements in life that I can brag about.

There is something special about being a mom (or a dad.) I love impacting my kids' lives and nurturing their personalities... I love learning from them and with them...

For example, tonight my one week old was head banging dad's chest in search of milk... She made me realize that burning desire and persistence are not enough... And she may never reach her desired outcome despite her "hard work" unless she changes her strategy and works smart -which she did: She cried until I picked her up and she continued her head banging until she got what she wanted... :)

It is truly amazing to see how quickly a baby can learn.

If anyone would like to challenge themselves to learn and grow everyday, I recommend "parenting." It would be a lie to say "I am enjoying every minute of it while experience it", but it sure is true that "I am learning from every minute of it after experiencing it."

One thing that is missing in my journey is that to reflect on these precious experiences, capture the teaching moments, and share with others... That's what I hope to achieve with this page.

Oh, I bet being a parent is far more fun than being a prime minister! ;)

08/15/2013

"Even in summer, it snows once in a while" said Paul Martinelli to me.. when I asked whether it is crazy wanting to fly cross country while 8 months pregnant in order to attend this speaking training (my passion.)

I followed my heart and had a great week preparing for my next season, and I am going back to home today - to return to my mommy season and be with my toddler and continue preparing for the upcoming birth.

I truly enjoy being a mom and spending a lot more time with my son and family, but it really is not mutually exclusive because I also love helping others and inspire them to reach their full potential. I guess in this trip, I just focused on "faith" rather than "fear" and had a good time. Many of the team members expressed gratitude for seeing my pregnant belly roaming around ;) I was fully attentive.

When I go back home, I am going to be fully present with my son and in a way "make up for the week by taking him to a mommy and me trip."

John Maxwell said to me last August, "enjoy your mommy season!" And that's what I have been doing and that's what I will continue doing.. Now that I learnt that 0-5 years of age is the most critical in a child's character development, I will do my best to continue planting the good seeds ;)

04/19/2013

Today was one of the "though days" in a mom's journey. My little one was acting like a typical 2 year old, taking all of his toys out, throwing them, giggling, and hitting the glass doors of the closets with excitement (who knows why?)

I tried to distract him by changing his location, offering snacks, and even using iPad. Not much worked. He either found new things to throw, including his food and iPad, or did things like climbing up and jumping on a bar stool...

It was just one of those days that he had boundless energy and joy for life which literally sucked the joy and energy from my moment. ;) Unfortunate but true.

I ended up sending him to his room and letting him stay there with his "rather distractive behavior" by locking the door. Luckily, nothing was broken -except my heart, because he started protesting by screaming, then kicking, then yelling, then crying, then begging, then back to screaming and repeating the whole cycle.

I felt horrible and wanted to open the door to let him out but what kind of a behavior I would be reinforcing if I did that.

Eventually he spent a couple of long hours in his room by himself and after the heavy emotional protests, he was ready to sleep. When he was calm, I went to his room and put him to his bed. It felt sad to see his puffy face.

As I was just about to make myself wrong and say "he is just a little kid. Why do I have to set limits? Let him be." That's when I realized that he was holding my hands. He was happy! (Not resentful or angry.) I wanted to leave the room, but he did not let me by saying "mommy, stay" softly. I continued to hold his hand and laid down next to him.

Before I knew it he was lightly snoring ;) That's when I had a big sigh and a deep sense of relief. There is no need to second guess a mother's first instinct. We need to set limits. The process is not always fun but the outcome is worth it.

When he woke up he was a calm and happy boy, and we partied at the backyard with our water table. ;) I was happy to see him expressing his joy in a much less distractive way (yes, splashing water is ok) and felt like I am on my way to raising a responsible human being and he is on his way to understanding consequences of his actions at an earlier age. Hopefully, this emotional investment will pay off when he is a teenager. ;)

Feel free to share your ideas and experiences around setting limits and positive discipline. I am always looking forward to learning from those who have lived through this at least once ;)

04/17/2013

I love being a mom! I think transition from an super active, restless career woman to a more relaxed and present mommy is going well (of course, being pregnant also helps as I feel the need to sleep a lot). This morning Benjamin said to his daddy "no, I want mommy to come" because I am the one who gets him from his bed in the morning most of the time. I think that is just precious!

04/17/2013

Photos with Benjamin

03/02/2013

This week Ben has been sick and stayed home with me all week, except the few hours that he spent at the preschool on Wednesday morning. I was not sure how well I would manage such continuous engagement and care during my first trimester and its extreme fatigue. But we synced our nap times and it went well. I am excited :)

02/27/2013

I just got back from the John Maxwell Team Live Event. The previous one I attended was last August and that’s where I got the clarity to choose my mommy season. Like last time, I had a chance to speak from the stage and share my story with hundreds of team members… Some approached me after my speech, and asked me “to share more on the HOW part…” This little writing is my attempt to answer that question.

Less than six months ago, I was torn between my strong desire to spend more time with my little boy and my excitement to start building on my newly found passion.

After spending seven years in real estate, my path crossed with John Maxwell’s and I realized that I’d like to spend rest of my life inspiring people to take action and be a change agent. Joining the John Maxwell Team, I was ready to launch a new career or more of a mission to help people achieve their dreams as an inspiring speaker, coach, and trainer. However, there was also this restlessness… I knew a new start would be like a new baby and demand my time and attention even more. I also knew that my little boy is growing so fast and needed his mommy to be around as he is learning about this new world. The impact that I can make in one’s life versus many others…

I was confused… I was confused because all my life I was conditioned to think that people invested their time, money, and dreams in me and for my education, so that I can go out and make a difference in the world. I am not supposed to hang my diploma on a kitchen wall and be just a “stay-home-mom,” right?

I was confused, torn, and in pain when I asked the question to John about how to balance these two. Being the wise, caring and loving fatherly figure he is, he told me what I need to hear. He said that he neither believes in balance nor teaches it. He said “just enjoy your mommy season… Before you know it, these toddler years will be over… Invest in your son’s future...” and he also said “you can still prepare for your next season when you are enjoying your mommy season… You can wake up an hour early, or go to bed an hour late, or use his nap time to invest in your future career/mission.”

I took the advice to the heart! I have been a “proud mama” since then. I struggled during the first few months, because I thought I should keep my son at home with me all the time and that kind of killed my excitement as I was not prepared for such a black & white transition, and he wasn’t ready to be with mom who did not like a “messy house..” Now, he goes to preschool most days, socializes with his friends, learns from other adults, and creates a mess as he likes. When he comes home, mommy is already taken care of the household chores, invested in her next season, and fully prepared to create fun and memorable moments for him/with him. Not every day is as romantic as it sounds, but we fight to win most of the days…

How to make it work in your life is entirely up to you. My husband and I decided that we can survive on a single income for few years if we change our saving and spending habits: traveling less, cooking more home meals, and driving a single car could be a good start… My mommy season just expanded because the peace and joy we have experienced allowed us get pregnant again, and I truly believe that the biggest gift I can give to my son is a sibling.

Now I don’t experience any pain or conflict. My priorities are rock solid, and as clear as a drinking water. Sure, I love being around driven people who are committed to impacting people’s lives positively. Sure, I miss my two piece suits, having a reason to put make up on, or my nicely structured days with other people’s demands… Sure, some days test my patience when it comes to being crazy repetitive, and “stinky.”

BUT I am in love with my outcome! I am in love with the fact that I am shaping my son’s future, teaching him our values, and manners, and helping him discover the world and develop his personality. I will continue inspiring people’s lives when the time is right. It is my mommy season now. I can take a break from it, and temporarily attend an awesome event here and there, but my center is always there. When I come home, I am a mom! Because there are many inspiring speakers in the world, but Benjamin has only ONE mom, and I am not going to trade my love for him.

I hope this helps.

01/28/2013

I have heard the saying "what you focus on expands" and I love seeing its truth come through. I made the motherhood the number one priorty in my life few minths ago and now I am pregnant and "expanding" our family in October. ;)

01/18/2013

The more I hear about "working moms' heartbreaking stories" about their employers' insensitivity, the more I feel grateful for the means we have. I also know that even those who don't think they have the means to enjoy their mommy season HAVE the same opportunity. Because when a heart starts to sing the song of LOVE combined with desire, nothing can stop a mommy -except the fear of unknown... And the best way to get over that fear is to close your eyes, and say "what the f..!@&$&, this is it!" And take the leap of FAITH! Before you know it, those days of confusion and feeling thorn will be a history ;) and your little one will be saying to you "good night pumpkin." That, my friend, is worth every battle!

01/15/2013

Today, I took Benjamin to the gym after dinner and he was in the Kids Club while mommy did learn to be a better swimmer. As we were driving back to home and was telling him what I did, he said to me "mommy swim?.. Ben's turn now!"

Yep, I am definitely taking him to a swim class tomorrow! ;)

This is one if the reasons why I am doing what I am doing - to inspire my son. Guess what, at the the end of the day, he went to bed without watching any shows or playing with the iPad.

01/12/2013

Thanks to my friend Deb Ingino for thinking of me and sharing this super cute and helpful article. I can relate to everything said on here. :)

Three years ago, I gave birth to my daughter. My first two thoughts were (1) I love her more than anything in the world, and (2) What will this mean for my career? Now, three years into motherhood, what I have learned is that being a mom offers me a whole new perspective on business.

01/11/2013

In case, you weren't there and did not hear it before, here is the story of my "mommy season" :) and its first manifestation.

Demi, Mom of Benjamin - from the stage. John Maxwell Team - Live Event August 2012