06/02/2026
Well... this escalated quickly.
A few years ago, Suck What® was a joke. Now we're the Featured Local Business for June at First United Bank's Prosper and Park Cities locations.
We're as confused as anyone.
Somewhere along the way, a crawfish-boil joke turned into a trademarked brand, a website, a growing line of merchandise, and apparently something respectable enough for a bank to put on display.
To the teams at First United Bank Prosper and Park Cities, thank you for the opportunity and for supporting local businesses. We genuinely appreciate the recognition.
To everyone who's bought merch, shared a post, stopped by a booth, or told a friend about us—you're the reason this ridiculous idea keeps growing.
We're still not entirely sure what we're doing, but we're doing it with enthusiasm.
The plan was never world domination.
The plan was to make people laugh.
The fact that we're accidentally doing both is just a bonus.
Before anyone says anything: Yes, I know the profile picture is missing. In a stunning display of technical expertise, I clicked the wrong button. And because I'm Meta Verified, I'm now serving a mandatory 3-day waiting period before they'll let me fix my own mistake. Apparently identity verification is important, but protecting me from myself is their real priority.
🦞 Suck What®
® Trademarked. Somehow.
🏦 Bank approved. Allegedly.
🌎 Empire status: Under construction.
